Posted 6/15/2002 04:15:00 PM by Sid link


Nice ass

Posted 6/15/2002 12:01:00 AM by Sid link


Honey, time to take your potassium iodide! The Spiderwort turned pink!

Posted 6/14/2002 11:44:00 PM by Sid link


Do you think the Texas Air National Guard has enough openings?

Posted 6/14/2002 11:38:00 PM by Sid link


I don't have a cute picture like VodkaPundit. I've got something close, though.
My 2 year old saw this ad, pointed, and said "Daddy!"

Posted 6/14/2002 11:32:00 PM by Sid link


'Cause the walls start shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it and you -
mmm-bopped me all night long

Posted 6/14/2002 11:29:00 PM by Sid link


He's got it all wrong. First you get the plutonium, then you secede.

Posted 6/14/2002 01:59:00 PM by Sid link


"The mouse! The MOUSE! Monster! It's huge! It's giant! K-K-K- KING-size mouse! It jumps around, snarling!

Link via the blog that's made from peeeeople.

Posted 6/14/2002 12:52:00 PM by Sid link


Meryl's having her own imaginary conversations.

Posted 6/14/2002 12:51:00 PM by Katie Bug link


Give Each Priest Their Own Kid

I have been thinking a lot about my rant earlier regarding the whole Catholic Priest situation and I may have come across the answer. Let's give each priest their own genetically superior kid to do with whatever they wish...........PETA, please don't write me.

Posted 6/14/2002 10:57:00 AM by Katie Bug link


Pooting Defined

It apparently really means something at the University of Leicester (scroll down to "Pooting").

Posted 6/14/2002 10:55:00 AM by Katie Bug link


Bodily Functions in Rhyme

This makes me ponder..........if someone were to poot in the woods, and there was no one near to hear it.........would we all still bust out laughing?

Gas = Funny.

Posted 6/14/2002 10:46:00 AM by Katie Bug link


A Sure Sign of the Apocalypse

Criminal rights groups have filed a lawsuit again the television show, "America's Dumbest Criminals' claiming that the name of the show violates Federal 'Self-Esteem' protections. Read all about it.

Posted 6/14/2002 10:13:00 AM by Katie Bug link


Why is Zero Tolerance a Question?

The more I read about the Catholic Church’s current crisis, the angrier I become. I am neither a victim of abuse, nor am I Catholic, but I am a parent. While I am glad that Pope John Paul II has acknowledged the problem and even written a letter to Priests regarding this issue (should have been done before), there seems to still be some hesitation in taking the next step and adopting a “zero tolerance” stance towards sexual abuse. I don’t care if you are a priest, a monk, a voodoo queen (although you do scare me), a spiritual guide, Sylvia Browne, a shaman, a minister, a prime minister or the minister of defense. If you sexually abuse a child, you are a criminal and should be locked up. You should not be allowed to hide behind liturgical vestments when you break laws such as these. You chose the road of celibacy and there wasn’t a footnote on that contract that stated “Little children not included.”

Why is the Catholic Church so hesitant to adopt a “zero tolerance” policy? Who knows? It is the least they can do as a visible sign to its followers to show they recognize their mistakes and are trying to make amends. If their goal as a whole is still to bring people to their religion, then recognize that people don’t want to join a group who doesn’t do everything necessary to remove its leaders who fondle young children. Don’t email me and tell me that I am being sacrilegious, because these priests who fondled kids and probably told them that God wanted them to do it went down that road before I sat at my keyboard today. If I was the parent of one of those children I would (quoting Big John) have to “open a 55 gallon drum of whoop ass” on them. There is nothing priestly about what they have done and a “zero tolerance” stance is what the rest of the world has to live by, so should these priests.

Posted 6/14/2002 09:44:00 AM by Sid link


It is with great pride that I announce the following news;

Silflay Hraka is the #2 result for Google searches on "koreans hot boy bands"

There's nothing quite like knowing that your target audience can reach you so easily.

Posted 6/14/2002 12:05:00 AM by Sid link


I read it for the articles, honest!

Posted 6/13/2002 11:49:00 PM by Sid link


Coyote at the Dog Show explains why we need to be fast with a gun.

Posted 6/13/2002 11:40:00 PM by Sid link


Why we're sitting here typing at you.

Posted 6/13/2002 11:38:00 PM by Sid link


How the FBI really works.

Posted 6/13/2002 11:26:00 PM by Sid link



The Voice in My Head.

Ok, that's...12 laps total, four more of breast stroke, two backstroke...
Kneel before Zod!
Dammit. 12 laps. four more breast stroke..
KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!
Focus, dumbass.. 12, well almost 13, then three more backstroke...
ZOD COMMMANDS YOU TO PEE IN THE POOL!
Go Away!
Zod will depart after you pee in the pool.
I don't need to pee.
Do not lie to Zod. Zod is here. Zod knows you could pee in the pool if you wanted to.
Look, I'm not going to pee in the pool.
ZOD COMMANDS YOU TO LOOK AT THE WOMAN IN THE YELLOW BIKINI!
Whoa!
Zod would not steer you wrong.
It can't be that cold in here.
Zod is your friend.
If I sidestroke on the way back I can stare longer.
ZOD COMMMANDS YOU TO PEE IN THE POOL!
Look, Zod, how do you know they don't have that chemical that turns urine purple when someone pees in the pool?
Were that so, your daughter would be the same shade as an eggplant.
Well, obviously they don't put it in the baby pool.
The baby pool is full of pee?
Stands to reason, doesn't it?
You sound like a fine parent, letting your daughter bathe in pee.
A little pee is not going to hurt anyone, dammit.
No?
No.
THEN ZOD COMMMANDS YOU TO PEE IN THE POOL!
Why are you so fascinated with pee?
Zod is not fascinated with pee!
It's because you have a little weiner, isn't it
ZOD DOES NOT HAVE A LITTLE WIENER!
Yes you do, you took pills to make it smaller in that Australian movie about the bus. I saw you.
Zod is perfectly normal!
You were wearing a dress, and it had gotten wet, and you could see everything.
That is a fearsome untruth! Zod is well above average, if you must know.
You saving up to get it cut off, and...
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA! ZOD DOES NOT HEAR YOU! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!
Oh, that's mature.
Excuse me, did you say something?
I said, voice in my head, that you're not very mature.
Zod has a name, you know.
Is it O.S.C.A.R?
Do not try and distract Zod with jingles!
What does Zod mean anyway? Zionist...Occupational...Distributor?
No, It is a family name.
Do you have a brother named Zog?
Do not try and distract Zod with racist trivia!
So you had, what, an Aunt Zod?
ZOD IS A BOY NAME! I INSIST THAT YOU STOP CASTING ASPERSIONS ON THE MANHOOD OF ZOD!
Well, you don't have to cry about it.
ZOD IS NOT CRYING ABOUT IT!
Ok, Zod, whatever. So sorry
You apologize for demeaning Zod?
Yes, god, I apologize already.
THEN ZOD COMMMANDS YOU TO PEE IN THE POOL!
Look, Zod, we've been in the car driving home for the past minute or so...
......
Zod?
......
Well, thank god for small..
ZOD COMMMANDS YOU TO PEE IN THE CAR SEAT!

Posted 6/13/2002 05:41:00 PM by Katie Bug link


Experience gone wrong, older woman is angry over Dick.

Posted 6/13/2002 04:48:00 PM by Katie Bug link


Time to cancel the reservations for Ocracoke and head to Chicken Street, Afghanistan. Is there an easier job on earth right now than the head of tourism for Afghanistan?

Posted 6/13/2002 03:25:00 PM by Sid link


This is why we can't have nice stuff.

Posted 6/13/2002 01:53:00 PM by Katie Bug link


These are a few of my favorite things..........

Posted 6/13/2002 01:35:00 PM by Sid link


First it was "Buy drugs and you're aiding the terrorists."
Then it was "Drive an SUV and you're aiding the terrorists."
Now it's "Drink coffee and you're aiding the terrorists."

And apparently the First Islamic Investment Bank prohibits linking to the site without permission. Well, fuck you, guys.

Link via Lileks

Posted 6/13/2002 01:22:00 PM by Katie Bug link


Stop the insanity!!!! We are being attacked by a large (too large) number of people who are claiming to have psychic abilities. I guess the circus is on hiatus. It was okay when John Edward (as mentioned by Bigwig) was confined to the far end of the cable dial on the Sci-Fi Channel, but he has since made the leap to network television. This should frighten all of us. In addition, the fat guy with the mustache is constantly lisping his way through conversations with the dead whenever I check out Larry King (and LK gets paid $7 million a year for that?).

One more person we are being subjected to is Sylvia Browne. What does this chick do other than show up on the Montell Williams’ Show? My God, people are actually listening to these freaks and buying their books, tapes, etc. and lining their sinks with gold plating. Why would my grandpa talk to this lady rather than me? Because of her wonderful fashion sense, or seductive smoker's voice? Please, listen to what the Amazing Randi has to say on the subject (or any such subject) and stop paying for air conditioned dog houses and mansions at Malibu. Sylvia, put up or shut up……..the clock is ticking.

Posted 6/13/2002 01:19:00 PM by Sid link


My favorite episode! Is when Beer-Chan! Wakes up! Naked in the! Sig-Ep house! Covered in her own vomit!
Link via PCJM

Posted 6/13/2002 01:11:00 PM by Sid link


So, you have voices in your head. We all have voices in our head. What kind of dumbass listens to them?
Link via The Obscure Store

Posted 6/13/2002 12:42:00 PM by Katie Bug link


Famous Last Words

The only final words missing here are those of every redneck ever killed, "Hey ya'll, watch this!"

Posted 6/13/2002 12:31:00 PM by Sid link


Needy and Stupid! John Edward's target audience is apparently composed entirely of my ex-girlfriends. Umm....except for the ones who happed to read this. Ya'll are great, really.

Posted 6/13/2002 12:24:00 PM by Sid link


I smell something burning.

Posted 6/13/2002 12:22:00 PM by Sid link



Whoring for Links finally works


War Now has put in the first perma-link to us, which means we officially qualify as a microbe in The Truth Laid Bear's representation of the Blogger Ecosystem. That's assuming he updates it again one day.

Posted 6/13/2002 10:53:00 AM by Katie Bug link


Al Qaeda: Terrorist Organization or Really Mean Cult?

This recent article in the New York Times brought up some interesting thoughts for me. It stirred both my anger and my patriotism, and swirled them together until they created an interesting blend of emotions. More Americans have been arrested in Pakistan under suspicion of being members of Al Qaeda. What could possibly have gone so wrong in these people’s lives that they moved half way around the world and joined this group? We all have bad days and disagree with people, but why join Al Qaeda? Did they just want to beat women, or perhaps the lure of never having to shave again was too exciting to pass up?

Look, we all have differences with people. For example, I do not particularly care for the way the Chinese government treats its citizens. Their human rights record is less than exemplary, yet I am still able to go out and eat sesame chicken without leading a protest. I am able to separate the two and realize that the leaders of the government and the guy cooking my egg roll are not the same person. These dudes killed thousands of innocent people who simply represented things they detest. If you don’t like that our country is wealthy, or if you don’t like it that women here do not have to wear a blanket when they are in public, then stay out, move or shut up. I do not understand how Al Qaeda went from inviting us to help them to blowing up the WTC. There seems to be a quantum leap between the two actions.

I have yet to see one beard that looks nice among Al Qaeda members. I probably would not like to eat the same things they do (camel hoof and snake lips). I would not like to live where I could be caned in the middle of the street, or where I might be told that I couldn’t watch Cheers, play Yahtzee, or sing in the shower. I do not agree with many of the customs of other countries……….but I do not care to blow your shit up either. Live and let live, you a#$%!holes!!!

All of these things have led me to believe that we should view the Al Qaeda as a cult. Here are a few reasons why. There are usually 3 characteristics shared by most cults.
1. Intensely shared and bonding beliefs. It is easy to recognize that members of Al Qaeda have a number of beliefs that are shared among its members, not the least of which is that America is evil.
2. They often involve religious expectations about a dramatic world change. This is a group of fundamentalists that would rather see the end of the world than for America to prosper.
3. A high degree of group cohesiveness and social regimentation within an authoritarian structure, headed by a charismatic leader. Like it or not, Osama Bin Laden must be charismatic to some degree. You don’t get that many supporters just because you can afford to throw a kick ass party (MC Hammer not included).

Perhaps if we view Al Qaeda as a cult it would help us put into perspective some of their actions and recruiting techniques. They prey on people who are dissatisfied with their lives, who are looking for something, people who are lonely, sick, and looking for spiritual support. Al Qaeda is all too willing to provide that support, but only if you are willing to blow yourself up in some horrific act of violence. I just hope that the 70 virgins who were waiting for those bastards in eternity were really, really ugly.

Posted 6/12/2002 10:58:00 PM by Sid link


Purty.

Posted 6/12/2002 09:39:00 PM by Sid link



How to know when we've won the war on terrorism.


14. The number one rated show on Al-Jazeera is "Queer as Folk".

13. Frederick's of Hollywood announces the Martha Stewart line of see-thru burkhas.

12. "Dykes to Watch Out For" is the newest addition to the Cairo Times comics section.

11. Debkafiles is reduced to running theatre reviews.

10. Mecca celebrates Mardi Gras, and the Saudi Girls get all the beads.

9. Andrew Sullivan links to Eric Olsen...wait, wrong list, that's from "How to know when the Apocalypse is nigh".

8. Britney Spears is booked to sing at the Bin Laden Bat Mitzvah.

7. Debkafiles calls Sheik Hassan Nasrallah's portrayal of Shylock in "The Merchant of Venice" "sympathetic and nuanced".

6. Al-Qaeda is an Arab hair band, touring with Poison to promote their speed metal cover of "Smoking in the Boy's Room".

5. The third legitimately elected Palestinian president is sworn in the capital of a free Palestine, Damascus.

4. Teheran's hottest political debate is over the relative merits of Tennesse vs. North Carolina barbeque.

3. After their Tony winning performances in a revival of "The Odd Couple", Sheik Ahmed Yassin and Benjamin Netanyahu star in a remake of "Some Like it Hot".

2. MTV's "Real World Riyadh".

1. Tom Ridge gets a real job, as North Korea's Minister of Food Exports.

Posted 6/12/2002 08:26:00 PM by Sid link


Will Warren of Unremitting Verse emailed us his views on art.

Posted 6/12/2002 05:19:00 PM by Katie Bug link


If you live in Rhode Island do you feel like a runt, like you are constantly sucking hind teat? I know it is pretty there, and I know that Mississippi ranks last in every category known to man, but I worry about the self-esteem of Rhode Island. Sure, size doesn't matter......or does it? Is Rhode Island repeatedly ignored in national affairs? When was the last time you saw the state on the national news? Look at the president's new protection plan, is Rhode Island mentioned anywhere in it? I would guess not.

If only the strong survive, it doesn't bode well for Rhode Island. If the United States was a pack of antelope, and another nation represented a cougar, would we even notice if the cougar were to eat the smallest antelope? The other antelope (states) might see the smallest antelope (RI) being eaten and think, "It's only the runt." Right now the Germans may be bombing Rhode Island like they did at Pearl Harbor and we may not even know. How would we hear about it?

Let’s rally around this little state. Hang in there little buddy, we are here for you. Let’s have a national Rhode Island day and all meet there…………….does anybody know directions? God bless the antelope, everyone.

Posted 6/12/2002 12:24:00 PM by Katie Bug link


Maybe Falwell will lay off of the purple, triangle-headed, overgrown muppet now and turn his attention to Bert.

Posted 6/12/2002 12:06:00 PM by Katie Bug link


Do you have great mistrust in the government? Are you afraid of Big Brother? Look around you. Are you spooked by the fact that street lights now take your picture, or that there are satellites in space that are capable of taking your picture while you sun in the backyard? If you do live with this constant fear you may have severe psychological issues. However, if this does not frighten you beyond the ability to function, then I suggest you have fun with it. Do what I do………..constantly give the finger. When I walk into my backyard I extend my middle finger to the sky. I flip off stop lights as I blow through intersections. I cuss at the showerhead when I am alone and say mean things to the light fixtures in the house. Do I think my house is bugged? Am I worried that my emails or this blog is being monitored by the government? It is doubtful, but I don’t want to miss an opportunity. If just one of my pictures is being looked at right now by the feds, and there is a g-man with a smile on his face as he examines the extension of my middle finger as I order a burger at the drive in, then it was all worth it.

If you hate the government, for the love of God, stop stockpiling weapons and collecting can goods…….simply move…….anywhere, China perhaps. If you are hell bent on discovering a conspiracy, why don’t you take a closer look at the meaning behind No. 2 pencils? Why is it that institutions of higher learning don’t want you holding onto a No. 1 or No. 3 pencil? No sir, they want you to have a good ol’ No. 2 firmly held within your grasp………perhaps I am the one with issues.

Posted 6/11/2002 11:33:00 PM by Sid link



Variations on a Theme by Unremitting Verse


Skimming the water, westward they came,
into the Rising Sun.
Torpedo bombers, shot from the sky,
all burned, or drowned, save for one.
Then the skies were darkened with
the terrible sword.
Swift the Dauntless flyers dove,
down, down came the horde.
Fire spewed from Akagi, the
Kaga and Soryu.
Tombs they became, for the men within
floating in endless blue.
And the one who was saved?
He witnessed the day
Among the flotsam and jetsam
Lieutenant George Gay.

Posted 6/11/2002 10:39:00 PM by Sid link


Natalie Solent has kindly compared Mantis Adolescents to the Far Side, which shows her to be a person of either exceptionally good or exceptionally poor taste, depending on whether you are me or my mother. Nice blog, Natalie, but why didn't you call it Solent Green?

Posted 6/11/2002 09:23:00 PM by Sid link


They were trying to add a new meaning to the whole "eat of my body" thing

Posted 6/11/2002 09:21:00 PM by Sid link


Turns out that drinking olive oil straight from the bottle isn't crazy after all.

Posted 6/11/2002 09:18:00 PM by Sid link


Paul's having a bit of a booze-up.

Posted 6/11/2002 11:13:00 AM by Katie Bug link


Do you remember the days when the slogan "I want my MTV" was popular? MTV was on the cutting edge of the music scene, and people could not get enough of videos. Well, those days are long past, and I am of the opinion that America is stuck in the musical dullness that clutched our society back in the late 80's. I have attempted to be introspective regarding this subject, and have taken a long look at myself..........it was frightening. Still, I realize that I am now older than I was when MTV burst onto the cable scene, catching the eye and imagination of all adolescents who were able to see their favorite rock stars for the first time. I understand that the music scene changes every few years and recycles itself after a designated time frame, but that does not alleviate my worries. I am concerned because our current music scene blows.

Have you listened to your radio lately? I haven't, mostly due to the fact that I am sick of having to listen to the latest dribble from boy bands. My God, didn't we learn anything from NKOTB? Shouldn't we have learned that they suck? I am not a Nirvana fan, yet I was thankful for their arrival so that NKOTB and other such acts would be pushed from the airwaves. Unfortunately, to quote the girl from Poltergeist, "They're back!!", and there are so damn many of them. If nothing else, this barrage of boy bands has made me long for the days when I used to want Boy George and Wham to disappear forever. Hell, they are so successful, I may even start a band. Me, Bigwig, and Kehaar will bust a move..........dammit, we can't!! I forgot that the magical recipe for a successful boy band is 5 members. Why is that? What do they know that the rest of us don't know? Maybe it is that with 5 of them it is too hard to pay attention to just one person, so we won't realize that each of them sucks! So, we'll recruit 2 more members and all dance the same way on stage. I hate choreographed concerts. I may be the meanest father ever, but I am going to have to put my foot down and not allow my daughter to buy ANY of their cd's. When she asks, "Why?" I will just have to look her in the eye and say, "Because they are all pedophiles."

I do not want my MTV, or the radio!! It is a sad day when I would actually prefer to hear Gerardo sing about "Rico Suave" or Hanson tell me all about "Um Bop" than to have to hear one more lame ass ballad from another same ol' boy band. I swear, if something doesn't change soon I am going to go into a record company's building and bitch slap somebody, and it is probably going to be the fat guy responsible for a so many of these bands. Please, Hootie, I'm sorry I didn't appreciate you while you were here. Come back!!!!!!

Posted 6/11/2002 09:28:00 AM by Sid link


Keep all your mp3s on a postage stamp.

Posted 6/11/2002 12:28:00 AM by Sid link



If war isn't the answer, you're not asking the right questions.


I was walking through campus today, on the way to my office, and stopped off at the Campus YMCA to grab a cup of coffee. Chalked on the ground in front of the Y was the message "War is not the answer". It didn't bother me much at the time - chalk graffiti litters the sidewalk all year long advertising this rally or that. What brought it back to mind was this story in the New York Times.

Mr. Fautre said that over the last 18 months, he and his volunteers had interviewed 35 recent escapees from North Korean camps.

Of the 35, he said, 31 said they had witnessed babies killed by abandonment or being smothered with plastic sheets. Two defectors later described burying dead babies, and two said they were mothers who saw their newborns put to death.

"This is a systematic procedure carried out by guards, and the people in charge of the prisons — these are not isolated cases," Mr. Fautre said in a telephone interview. "The pattern is to identify women who are pregnant, so the camp authorities can get rid of the babies through forced abortion, torture or very hard labor. If they give birth to a baby alive, the general policy is to let the baby die or to help the baby die with a plastic sheet."

Here is an issue that you would think it would be hard to find disagreement on. The vast majority of inmates in a North Korean prison are bound to be political prisoners, the women in those prisons who happen to be pregnant are forced to have an abortion, and if they do manage to give birth, their children are taken away from them and murdered.

"Lee Soon Ok, who worked as an accountant for six years at Kaechon political prison, recalled in an interview that she twice saw prison doctors kill newborn babies, sometimes by stepping on their necks."

There's also the racism.

"The guards would scream at us: `You are carrying Chinese sperm, from foreign countries. We Koreans are one people, how dare you bring this foreign sperm here,' " Miss Lee, the vocational student, recalled. "Most of the fathers were Chinese."

A good number of the fathers are Chinese because for years rural Chinese farmers have been buying wives from North Korea. Others cross the border seeking food, because all they can get on the other side is boiled grass. China forcibly repatriates all North Koreans they catch under a treaty Beijing signed with that country, and the usual fate of the returnee is jail time.

"One man whose job it is to drive such people to the border commented: "Yes, the girls cry; of course they cry. I heard that if they have to send a girl back, she might be tortured. Some of them are so frightened that it is as though they are in shock. All the way to the border, 60 kilometers, they stare ahead saying nothing."

It is hard to find disagreement about what to do in North Korea. It’s hard to find agreement. In fact, it’s damn near impossible to find anyone who has anything to say about North Korea. Surely Amnesty International has something to say? Nope. Apparently they're too busy investigating the United Kingdom. Green Party? Zilch. Well, how about the right? Surely the Nuremberg Files have something to say about forced Commie abortions? Nothing. Too busy setting up web cams outside health clinics. No word on how they plan on differentiating those who need pap smears from those whom they want to put a bounty on. Operation Rescue? Nope. There’s a letter blaming the 9/11 attacks on abortions, but no explanation of, if abortion causes God to kill innocents, why frigging North Korea isn’t a glazed area under a shallow sea. I suspect that Operation Rescue’s God really doesn’t give a rat’s ass about little non-white babies, pre-born or not. 700 club? Nada.

We should be bombing Pyongyang just on general principles. Violence can and does solve things, just ask the Carthaginians. (thanks, Mr. Heinlen) General principles should have had us bombing Afghanistan the hour after we first saw a woman executed in Kabul’s soccer stadium. Had we bombed then, when the Northern Alliance was still under the command of its most puissant leader, Osama might have had so much on his plate that he wouldn’t have had time to plan the attacks on the World Trade Center, or the USS Cole, for that matter. Forget nation building, just get rid of the government. A starving North Korea, heading into the winter with no government, power or communications, with disease rampant and unexploded butterfly bombs scattered over the countryside is a North Korea that is better off than it is now.

Unfortunately, just because we should be bombing the dear leader doesn’t mean that we’re going to. If we have a focus right now, it’s on Iraq, and since Saddam is perceived as more of a threat to us than Kim Jong IL, the national interest dictates that we take him out first. His people are hardly better off than the North Koreans, so some good will be done. In any case, it doesn’t appear that we have the political will in Washington to open a front in Korea. Hell, I’m not sure George has the political will to open a front in Iraq.

If we can’t or won’t bomb the North Korean government into submission, what to do? If you want to collapse an autocratic, corrupt communist regime, consider East Germany, which collapsed in a matter of days after Hungary relaxed the border controls that prevented East Germans from crossing over to the West. North Koreans are already voting with their feet, risking the wrath of two communist regimes to gain access to the grounds of western embassies. It would be nice if we could convince China to open up its border with North Korea, but that’s unlikely to happen. China would consider the collapse of a communist regime on it doorstep an embarrassment, even if it wouldn’t lift a finger to help. Besides, China already has too many citizens. But there is a country that shares a border with North Korea, a friend of the US, one that could use extra citizens and could probably be swayed to open up its border. Russia.

It’s not a large border, but it is near a city, Khasan, with a railroad line good enough for Kim Jong IL, so refugees could be moved elsewhere fairly quickly. It’s at the other end of the country from where most of the North Korean military is, so shifting forces to prevent a mass exodus would open up opportunities in the South. It would also expose troops of doubtful loyalty to attack, had we the will. Drumming up tensions along the south at the same time would probably prevent any movement, and Lord knows President Bush is good at that. Who pays for it? The US if necessary, but we won’t have to. Like West Germany in the cold war, South Korea considers North Korean as citizens, and is honor bound to take care of them. Russia might not want the extra citizens, after all, so there’s a built-in guarantee that someone will take the Korean huddled masses.

After all, we can’t just sit here and let this happen, can we? Pat? Susan?

Posted 6/10/2002 02:12:00 PM by Katie Bug link


If beer was money would I be rich or would I have pissed it all away?

Posted 6/10/2002 01:55:00 PM by Katie Bug link


Why shouldn't I be allowed to sell my soul on Ebay? Instead I sold it to the devil and got much less for it...........good parties though.

Posted 6/10/2002 01:10:00 PM by Sid link


Curious George rips you off.

Posted 6/09/2002 11:46:00 PM by Sid link


Butter!

Posted 6/09/2002 11:22:00 PM by Sid link


I am stinking rich. And so are you. Which is good, since it keeps the money in the family.
Links courtesy of Instapundit and memepool

Posted 6/09/2002 11:10:00 PM by Sid link


If you have a kid, don't go here. It's one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen.
link via memepool

Posted 6/09/2002 10:53:00 PM by Sid link


War Now has a good post on the modern perception of war, with one glaring exception. He's dissing the Pogues!

"Even more modern works like Paths of Glory, Gallipoli, Birdsong, and the atrocious Pogues song "And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda" have depicted World War I as the paradigmatic, utterly stupid, cruel, and wasteful, war. "
Now, there may be things you can dis the Pogues for, I haven't paid them a lot of attention in the past few years, and the cd Shane McGowan released after he left never really made an impression on me. "And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda" didn't even make Essential Pogues, though a check of their website shows that it did make Very Best Of. I would argue though, that Shane's whiskey and cigarettes delivery of the song mirror perfectly the bitterness of the song's narrator. I'd never heard the song before, and a check of my hard drive shows 8 different versions. An argument could be made that the power of the lyrics is what affected me so deeply, rather than McGowan's flattish delivery, but none of the other versions really hit me as hard. In any case, calling it a Pogues song is inaccurate. It is a Pogues cover of a song orginally written by Eric Bogle, and first performed by June Tabor. Of course, he could just hate the Pogues, but I just can't get my head around that.

Update: War Now is insisting that he was NOT dissing the Pogues, and the aspersions I have cast his way are unfair and hurtful in the extreme. The confusion seems to have been caused by the Opera browser, which rendered only part of his post correctly. The offending Pogues remarks came from another blog entirely. When I gave in to the Dark Side and surfed the blog with IE, the missing italics revealed themselves. You can see his affronted response here. Sorry WN! If you're ever in NC, come by, and I'll buy you some of our famous American beer.

Posted 6/09/2002 09:14:00 PM by Sid link


When Umbrellas are outlawed, only outlaws will carry umbrellas.

Posted 6/09/2002 09:01:00 PM by Sid link



Pollyanna


We watched Pollyanna on DVD this morning. Well, we didn't. I was sent to the penalty box early on for snarkiness in the presence of girlish nostalgia. The Sainted Wife and Mother wanted to share something of the halcyon days of her youth with Not Gnat (ngnat). Some families pass down heirlooms, we pass down viewing habits. Ngnat will get Pollyanna, Little House, Oklahoma, Westside Story and The Way We Were from the SWAM. I'll give her Monty Python, Spinal Tap and the Simpsons. She'll reject all of them out of hand, likely enough, but it won't stop us from trying. It appears at this point that she'll be foisting Samurai Jack and the Powerpuff Girls on her own offspring.

Pollyanna opens with a truly dreadful Mickey Mouse cartoon, "The Nifty Nineties". Mickey sports a pimp boater, Minnie's got a bustle that makes her look like the four-assed monkey from South Park, and the highlight of the short is M&M watching a movie about an alcoholic father who lets his son freeze to death. Now there's entertainment for children of all ages! It ends with the two anthropomorphized rats rear-ending a cow. Whoever drew the cow must have been an udder fetishist, because at one point the thing fills the entire television. It must been truly awesome on the big screen.

Now I realize that this was not created for an audience as presumably media-savvy as we, but were the denizens of the 1940's just easily pleased? The short plays both the "Why did the chicken cross the road" AND the "That's no lady, that's my wife" jokes as straight laugh getters. I bet those were old when Babylon was a world power. Also, I could accept that Mickey Mouse was popular back in the days of the depression, but is he still? The bloody mouse is ubiquitous, I'll grant him that, but popularity does not neccesarily follow. Just ask Carrot Top. Like Elvis in the 70's, Mickey's been coasting on his reputation. He's made only one cartoon short in the past 50 years. I don't think glad-handing petrified toddlers at the American Mecca like Joe Louis greeting the lumpen at Caesar's Palace can explain it. The only thing I can think of is that the flacks at Disney kept repeating "Mickey Mouse is a beloved icon of Americana" until we believed it. They don't have to anymore, we've accepted the fiction so thoroughly that we pass the meme onto our kids ourselves. God help me, the first thing I said when that vermin in clothing popped up on the screen was "Ngnat, your first Mickey Mouse cartoon!" Well, there won't be a second, at least not without the full MST3K treatment from me.

You won't hear it from Disney, but it looks like the copyright on Mickey was supposed to expire at the end of this year. I'm tempted to learn Flash just to be the first person to animate Mickey gnawing on a corpse, devouring his own children, and pissing in the foodstuffs.

Nifty Nineties ends with a gigantic cow ass filling up the screen. Oddly enough, Pollyanna starts with a gigantic ass filling up the screen, as a naked boy plummets to his death in the raging river below. Well, he is naked, and there is a river, but he's jumping off a rope swing to cavort with other naked lads in the stream below. It's obviously meant to evoke a more innocent time, but the only thing it evoked in me was the comment "Boy, I bet the priests are buying this sucker by the boxful." I was dismissed at this point, upsetting, since I always thought Hayley Mills was pretty hot, and I wanted to see what other inadvertent Disney Porn might pop up. I'm pretty sure I heard the whacka-chicka music wafting out of the living room at least a couple of times.