Posted 3/08/2003 05:29:00 PM by Sid link


Another Utopia Founders

At the inlaws this weekend. Sainted Wife and Aspiring Actress are in the den, watching Sweet Home Alabama. I thought about watching it with them, but the packets were singing their siren call, so here I am. That, and Murphy Brown has a big role in the movie. I don't mind Candace, at least not in the way I mind Richard Gere, but the characters she portrays always annoy me.

Richard Gere is just instant boycott, no questions asked. He could star in the Star Wars/Star Trek/Babylon 5/Battlestar Galactica crossover, and I would be like "Sorry, not interested." Everything he touches turns into chick flick bathos, and I just don't need to see an emotionally open Jedi captain of the Enterprise. I don't care if is he is being chased by Cylons.

So, they're occupied, and Nana and G-daddy have taken Ngnat to the playground swings, leaving me free to indulge in whatever geek thing I set my mind to. Which, at least for a little while, is not surfing the Internet looking for blog material. Got some of that already, in the form of a 1940 Philco Console Radio, model 40-180, that the Aspiring Actress retrieved from a defunct downtown Charlotte company somehow, to put in her new loft. Here's a pic of one;


I'm jealous, needless to say. I might have been slightly less jealous if she hadn't gotten it for free, or if the original radio wasn't still in there, or it it didn't happen to be an american art-deco standard. Not that it would match anything in the house, or that we even have room for it. I figure getting it to run again is the next best thing.

The only things obviously wrong with it, aside from the vacuum tubes, which I assume have got to be shot by now, even if they are all present, are the electrical cord and the eight Bakelite station buttons on the front, which looked like they've been chewed by something. They're also missing six of the little stick-on labels that specifed which pre-war station they tuned into. The remaining labels are all for stations in Bluefield, West Virginia, so it's even conceivable that this radio was once owned some relative or other of the Sainted Wife and Aspiring Actress, both sides of their family having originated in that locale.

At this point ten years ago, I would have been S.O.L. I don't know nuthin' about repairing no radios, Miss Scarlett. How in god's name would you go about finding Bakelite buttons for a particular Philco radio model in 1993? Unless I had been living the antique radio restorer's life for at last a few years prior to that, I wouldn't have had a clue of even where to start to look. And, as tempting as the antique radio restorer's life was for a single lad in his twenties then, I had not been living it.

Now though, there's not only the The Philco Repair Bench, but PhilcoRadio.com, with its hundreds of links to restorers and replicators, not to mention the Philco Gallery. I could probably have the radio restored and running in a matter of days now, and be free to pursue the next geek fancy to catch my eye.

That feels so.....wrong, somehow. Once upon a time, in order to be a geek, just like with any other calling, one had to commit a certain amount of time to it just to be able to function in the geek environment. Think how long it took just for you to know what "42" meant. Now, along with everything else, that has sped up, too. Instead of months spent in the company of like minded antique radio enthusiasts, not to mention the months it would probably take just to find those people in the old days, I spent an hour with Google. Now I know more about antique Philco radios that 98% of the people on the planet. If that's not geeky, then there's no such thing anymore.

Of course, according to Sainted Wife and Aspring Actress, it is geeky, so perhaps I should abandon my dream of Google turning everyone into compulsive obsessives.

Posted 3/08/2003 02:55:00 PM by Katie Bug link


Taking Viagra to Fight Crime

I thought this was a joke, but apparently it isn't. Nothing like watching old men in tights to win the sweeps ratings.

Posted 3/08/2003 02:38:00 PM by Katie Bug link


MC Hammer Sighting

Contrary to popular opinion, MC Hammer is still touring as proven by this photo taken of him as he toured Selangor. He must still be big overseas.

Posted 3/08/2003 09:54:00 AM by Katie Bug link


Dumb Way to Die

I first saw this story in a copy of Sports Illustrated which came out a few weeks ago. I've been meaning to blog it since then, but have forgotten for whatever reason.

Apparently, 23 year old snowboarder, Jeffrey Lin Anderson, decided he would try to slide down 5 flights of stairs on the handrail. It didn't go as planned, as he only slid successfully down 1 flight and fell the rest of the way. The guy fell off of the handrail and plummetted 4 floors, landing on his head. He was taken to the hospital, but was pronounced dead shortly after arrival. What a dumb way to die. It reminded me of all the times I escaped near death in my 20's. Not surprisingly, Bigwig was around for most of those experiences.

Posted 3/08/2003 09:47:00 AM by Katie Bug link


Who Turned Out The Lights?

When reading this story I thought of Vickie Lawrence for the first time in years. I hear her singing a version of her musical hit, but this time the lyrics say, "That's the night that the lights went out on Broadway." I must need more coffee.

Posted 3/08/2003 09:43:00 AM by Katie Bug link


Ozzy and The King

I saw that Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne are going to be on Larry King tonight. Personally, I love Ozzy, and have even seen him in concert a decade ago when he was purposefully touring at small venues. I only hope that the show tonight will be running subtitles.

Posted 3/08/2003 08:06:00 AM by Katie Bug link


Morning Funnies

Woke up this morning and started looking at blogs, not a good sign regarding my social life, but at least I did find something that made me laugh this morning. Ran across this post by Tony over at Trojan Horseshoes, regarding Bush and his plans to attack Iraq. I understand his plan so much better now.

Posted 3/07/2003 02:06:00 PM by Katie Bug link


This Is Your Face on Drugs

For the love of God, say no to drugs.............at least the ones that caused this to happen.

Posted 3/07/2003 01:49:00 PM by Katie Bug link


KKK Supports Augusta

It appears as if Hootie Johnson has found some support for his all male Augusta National Golf Club. The problem is that the guy wanting to march in support of the club is the Imperial Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. Allowing this demonstration to take place would not do much to help the club's already questionable reputation. For the record, I am in favor of leaving the club an all-male establishment, but I wouldn't want the KKK doing any marches on my behalf. Keep the club's rules, get rid of the guys in bedsheets.

Posted 3/07/2003 11:57:00 AM by Katie Bug link


True or False?

Found this story over at Rantburg, I pray the answer is TRUE.

Posted 3/07/2003 10:16:00 AM by Katie Bug link


Panama City Boycott

Screw boycotting France, there are bigger fish to fry. After reading this article, I am starting a movement to boycott Panama City. No longer will I use suntan oil that has the word "Panama" on it, or wear t-shirts with Panama Jack on it. Why can't they focus on jaywalkers or people who park illegally, instead of reducing the number of boobs spring breakers might see? In these times of patriotism, this seems so un-American. This is found on the MSN website:

Fla. Mayor Warns 'Girls Gone Wild' Crew
Mar 6, 1:37 PM EST

If girls go wild, they'll go to jail - and so will those who videotape them baring it all, says the mayor of America's top spring break destination.

The creators of the "Girls Gone Wild" videos are planning a live pay-per-view broadcast next Thursday from an undisclosed spring break destination. In the videos, college-age women bare their breasts while partying.

"I hope, and have asked, that those people who unchain (the girls) and ask them to go wild make that trip" to jail, said Mayor Lee Sullivan, a former police chief.

A call to "Girls Gone Wild" was not immediately returned Thursday.

Panama City Beach police and the sheriff's office have been on the alert since the recent arrival of the "Girls Gone Wild" production crew and tour bus.

Police Maj. David Humphreys said officers will be on the lookout for public nudity, lewd acts and disorderly conduct. They will also arrest anyone who solicits someone else to violate the law, he said.

UPDATE: First Iraq, Then France, Then Panama City. The list is growing.

Posted 3/07/2003 01:08:00 AM by Sid link


Beer of the Night

Ambari Premium Lager, brewed by the Impala Distilleries & Brewery of Goa, India

India a beer paradise? Not really. All the beer tastes the same and it is served so cold that it anaesthetises the tonsils. But to be honest, in this place where the sun shines constantly, the leaves of the coconut trees rustle in the breeze as if applauding each other and curries burst with flavour, it doesn’t really matter.

Mine was a decent enough lager, honey accents with an unexpected smoky overtone reminiscent of a rauchbier. It's apparently not a well known or widely marketed beer, as I was unable to find an online review of it. That's never happened before.

Posted 3/07/2003 12:40:00 AM by Sid link


Shouldn't That Be...Cracker?





How BLACK are you?



Link via Too Much to Dream

Posted 3/06/2003 11:59:00 PM by Sid link


Movin' On Up

Nothing like being talked about, except perhaps being immortalized in song;

Three folks outside their boxes blogging now as Silflay Hraka
Are ‘W’, ‘K’, and Bigwig (keep the title, but ‘tain’t caca).
There’s writing fine ‘n beer divine, for more just use your mouse ta
Click out to pleasing essays by three jacks of weblog Owsla.

Run in circles, scream and shout
The wild hares you’ve all heard about!
Sing Ho! for the Blogosphere!

Along with Susana, Lileks, The Captain, and assorted others a league or two above us.

Posted 3/06/2003 11:52:00 PM by Sid link


He Done Told You Once, You Son Of A Bitch, He's The Best That's Ever Been

Charlie Daniels then;

In America

Well the eagle's been flyin' slow
And the flag's been flyin' low
And a lot of people sayin' that America's fixin' to fall
Well speakin' just for me
And some people from Tennessee
We've got a thing or two to tell you all
This lady may have stumbled
But she aint never fell
And if the Russians don't believe that
They can all go straight to hell
We're gonna put her feet back
On the path of righteousness and then
God bless America again

And you never did think
That it ever would happen again
You never did think
That we'd ever get together again
( We damn sure fooled you )
Yeah, we're walkng real proud
And we're talkin' real loud again ( In America )
You never did think
That it ever would happen again
From The Sound up in Long Island
Out to San Francisco Bay
And everthing that's in between them is our own
And we may have done a little bit
Of fightin' amongst ourselves
But you outside people best leave us alone
'Cause we'll all stick together
And you can take that to the bank
That's the cowboys and the hippies
And the rebels and the yanks
You just go and lay your hand
On a Pittsburgh Steelers' fan
And I think you're gonna finally understand.

Charlie Daniels now, at his blog.

I remember, as a kid, first listening to "In America" non-stop, then being ashamed of having liked it so much once I grew older. Now I think, damn, nice guitar work.

And yes, I know exactly what Europe would think of Charlie.

Fuck 'em.

Link via Rantburg, kinda sorta

Update: There's a discussion of Charlie and some of his less appealing thoughts over at a small victory, and Cold Fury also found the whole letter.

Posted 3/06/2003 11:19:00 PM by Sid link


A Valley Girl Analyzes the Jewish Situation

You know, it's just me talking, and I don't know anything, but don't you think that maybe it might be time to rethink the whole "God’s chosen people" thing? I mean, ye-ah, it does appear that he has chosen you, but not really in a good way. It seems to me that it's more like a big fat mean kid on the playground kind of way. I think he like, wants your lunch money?

So, um.....o.k, there was the whole slaves to the Pharaoh thing and that icky green mist that made the bald guy totally mad at Charlton Heston, and all those years where Moses couldn't be bothered to stop and ask for directions, and Nebuchadnezzar, and then the Romans, and then the whole Jesus thing, and probably like a bunch of other guys. I know... Masada? is in there somewhere. Not to mention being kicked out of Spain, and pogroms, and Hitler, and the monthly exploding Palestinian lottery. That's bad enough, but there's kind of a pattern there, don't you think? And this fits right into it.

Don't you think maybe you could try and to persuade him to pick somebody else as his chosen people for a while? Like maybe the French?

Like, that totally grody link? It was from Poet and Peasant.

Posted 3/06/2003 10:44:00 PM by Sid link


On the Borders of Kurdistan

On the borders
Where throats are
Choked with good-byes
And eagerness is
Suspended in the eyes
And people asked
When.. where are we ? why..?!
Here a child dies..
There a baby lies, and
Another face-down cries:
        My wound is hurting
        My breath is hurting
        My stomach is hurting,
        Mother: Am I to die ?
        And my white pigeon ?!
        Are we going to die ?

In tears she said:
There beyond the border posts..
Only days: we won't die
For us, God will try..
Again, the child cries:
        Will my pigeon die ?
        Mother: I love her..
        She is my life
        Because I love,
        She does not deserve to die
        I love her...
All broke in tears
        Dear.. your pigeon died
        When the planes pried
And she broke in tears
        My white pigeon was gassed ?!
        My Kurdish pigeon died
        Mother.. my hair is falling
        why ? Am I to die ?
        Some water please..
        W-a-t-e-r ...



The only legitimate excuse for opposing the removal of Saddam Hussein, the only one, is that you hadn't yet realized how immoral your position actually was.

Link via the Feces Flinging Monkey

Posted 3/06/2003 03:52:00 PM by Sid link


Killing Vivendi

Giving up French wine, cheese and Perrier is easy. It's even having an effect, but how much are you really willing to do to boycott the French? Are you willing to do the stuff that's actually hard to do? Can you boycott the largest company in France? Can you boycott Vivendi?

It would mean giving up the Sci-Fi channel, and the USA network.

That's right, Les Chameau own USA. Vivendi owns dozens of companies.

It would mean not buying games from Blizzard Entertainment, Sierra, and Universal Interactive, and not going to Universal Studios the next time you were in Orlando.

It would mean refusing to buy books published by Houghton Mifflin, or cd's from, among others, Ashanti, Erykah Badu, Mary J. Blige, Andrea Bocelli, Jimmy Buffet, Bon Jovi, Sheryl Crow, Eminem, Amy Grant, Johnny Hallyday, Enrique Iglesias, Insane Clown Posse, Jay-Z, Elton John, Ronan Keating, Diana Krall, Limp Bizkit, Ludacris, Lyle Lovett, Nelly, No Doubt, Florent Pagny, Luciano Pavarotti, Sandy & Junior, Shaggy, Sting, George Strait, Smashmouth, Texas, Shania Twain, U2, Russell Watson, Weezer, Rob Zombie and Trisha Yearwood.

Downloading songs from these artists would still be allowed. In fact, downloading mp3's from these artists and passing them around should probably be encouraged. Yep, I figure Kazaa is the patriotic thing to do, here.

Can your struggling startup company refuse venture capital from Viventures?

Can you make it through the day without visiting the websites of MP3.com, EMusic, FlipSide, Education.com or Rolling Stone? (I won't link these, to make it easier for you.)

Can you boycott these movies, and others, when they come out, and refuse to by the DVD six months later?
The Hulk (Meryl?)
The Cat in the Hat
Bruce Almighty
Seabiscuit
Van Helsing
Meet The Fockers

Because if you can, not only will you impact the overall French economy, you can help pry some of the artists and companies listed above out of Vivendi's clutches.

Vivendi is in serious financial trouble, so much that they're looking to sell off $7.7 billion in assets this year.

When's the best time to boycott a company? When it's already hemorrhaging money.

Boycotting these properties will not only drive Vivendi's earnings further down, it will make each of them less valuable, meaning that Vivendi would have to sell even more assets to balance the books, assets that you could then support, as they would no longer be owned by a french company.

Besides, if I have to give up German beer for the foreseeable future, I want others to feel a little more pain than just boycotting Georges Duboeuf and brie will bring them.

Update: "Edward Boyd" of Zonitics suggests that if one really wants to see the Hulk, one should buy a movie ticket for a movie other than the Hulk, and then sneak in, which is really an excellent idea.

Zod: So, drinking French wine is okay, as long as you stole it?
I'm thinking yes.
Zod: I see I have my work cut out for me here.

Posted 3/06/2003 03:30:00 PM by Sid link


People Just Don't Care For the French

Ok, the Bumper stickers just went to their third printing. The first printing took about a week and a half to sell out. The second printing took less than a week, and there were lots more multiple orders, like for 6 bumper stickers, or 8, or 10.

I find myself in a strange position. The more the French act up, the greater my liking for them.



$3 bucks each, which includes shipping. Use the Paypal button on the right.

And as long as I'm on the subject of France and Frenchmen, this quote, from Penrod, by Booth Tarkington has always bothered me.

"I tell you he's a lunatic!" Mr. Schofield would have said the same thing of a Frenchman infuriated by the epithet "camel."

Can anyone tell me why "camel" was once such a deadly insult to the French? I'd like to revive that tradition, if I could.

If you don't use Paypal, there's always ebay.

Posted 3/06/2003 02:04:00 PM by Katie Bug link


Fight!!! Fight!!!!

Apparently John Walker Lindh (obviously guilty because of the usage of all three names) was roughed up in prison. I'm so surprised. I mean, the guy weighs a whopping 130 pounds soaking wet, I'm surprised he was hurt at all. One sentence we will probably never hear JWL say is, "You think I'm hurt? You should see the other guy." My guess is that he can expect more of the same. For some reason it seems as if some high profile criminals receive a certain amount of justice in prison that could never be administered outside of those walls. Like Jeffrey Dahmer (freaky site) getting killed, or child molestors getting the shit kicked out of them. It is as if, once imprisoned, some prisoners take moral stands (it's all relative) on certain issues and believe it is their right to beat the hell out of people who commit crimes that "cross the line." Sounds fine to me. Whoever bitch slapped JWL just did what the rest of us wanted to. Don't put him in solitary confinement, instead give him a carton of smokes and an extra hour outside.

Posted 3/06/2003 01:40:00 PM by Sid link


Multiculturalism Is Bad For Antelopes And Other Living Things

It's possible that the Saiga Antelope, a species whose population numbered in the millions less than a decade ago, may be extinct in the wild in less than five years.

Who's to blame? Well, if you pay attention to some people, it's impossible to tell. Fortunately, there are other sources of information.

The slaughter is embarrassing for conservationists. In the early 1990s, groups such as WWF actively encouraged the saiga hunt, promoting its horn as an alternative to the horn of the endangered rhino.

The World Wildlife Fund's choice to promote the horns of the male Saiga Antelope as a substitute for rhino horn in traditional Chinese medicine is directly responsible for the current sorry status of that creature. The WWF even commissioned a study at Hong Kong University that showed saiga horn to be just as effective as rhino horn in fighting fevers, that is to say, not at all, except possibly in very high doses, and only then in rats, not humans, and only in conjunction with other herbs, herbs that produced the exact same effect when administered in a mixture sans horn.

Needless to say, the WWF study didn't bother to state that Rhino horns are composed entirely of keratin, the exact same thing fingernails are made of. If ground up rhino horn actually did reduce fever, then rhinos would have never been killed for that reason, because we would have known long ago that chewing fingernails did the same thing, and are far cheaper.

They're also closer to hand.

But did the WWF point any of this out? No. Rather than offend delicate Chinese sensibilities with rude facts (mustn't stir them up, Heather, you know how they get), this protector of nature decided that a better course of action would be to have a more numerous species slaughtered instead. And now, surprise, that species is now almost wiped out.

Timber companies aren't to blame for the demise of the saiga. Oil companies aren't to blame. McDonalds isn't to blame, and me not recycling my beer bottles isn't to blame. The World Wildlife Fund is to blame. The type of thinking that embraces crystal healing and feng shui is to blame. The World Wildlife Fund relies on basic science for it's decisions about as often as Appalachian snake handlers do, perhaps even less. And I'm supposed to believe them when it comes to global warming?

If you want to strike a blow for scientific environmentalism, send your dollars to the Nature Conservancy. Don't give the WWF anything other than your finger.

Posted 3/06/2003 12:20:00 PM by Sid link


No, Not Fetishes, You Freaks

I was researching a post, and ran across this picture.

Anyone care to guess what I was looking up?

Posted 3/06/2003 12:04:00 PM by Katie Bug link


Skipping = Protesting??

Apparently there is an organized protest to take place across the country at a number of institutions of higher learning. Organizers are asking students to skip class in an effort to protest the potential war against Iraq. WTF??? This is one of the dumbest ideas I have heard. If you are going to protest, do it for days on end, turn the damn thing into a big party and hang out for a week, don't just skip one class.

Do you know what this means? This means that I was one of the biggest protesters during my college days. Perhaps if I had been more organized in my efforts I could have saved the whales, ended hunger in Africa, banned Milli Vanilli from ever getting a record contract, or ended Apartheid a bit sooner. Instead I just got drunk way too much, failed Spanish twice, met Bigwig, and barely graduated. If I had only known the power.

Posted 3/06/2003 11:49:00 AM by Katie Bug link


World Trade Center Design is Fingered

Saw this link for a proposed new World Trade Center design over at Little Tiny Lies. I would vote for it.

Posted 3/05/2003 11:39:00 PM by Sid link


The Top 50

I've read 37 of the 50. Glad to see that To Your Scattered Bodies Go made the list. It's the type of book that convinces you to pick up anything the author has ever put his name to, and that's a crap load of books when it comes to Philip Jose Farmer. And it's a cool title, right up there in my mind with Pohl's Beyond the Blue Event Horizon. I'd seen the list yesterday but was reminded about it when I ran across it again at the VikingPundit's place.

If you count the books I own, rather than the ones I've just read, I'd probably be up to around 45 out of 50. I've got several of the Bester and Delany books in paperback, or will for a little while longer. For the last 16 years, I've schlepped my books around with me from apartment to apartment to house with me. There were thousands of them, scattered across 7 or 8 bookcases and piled up in corners at the high point of the collection. It's declined over the past couple of years as library space inevitably loses when it battles the needs of family space.

As far as my book collection is concerned, when the baby finally arrives we ought to name him Waterloo. My room--I won't call it an office, as that is not only a pretentious but inaccurate description of a room where very little actual work gets done, was originally meant to be a bonus room or quest bedroom, the latter of which it is in the process of becoming. It was where I kept my stuff, where I was inevitably to be found when when the rest of the family was abed.

The computers have made the cut, but the gigantic and extremely heavy Barnes & Noble bookcases are being banished to the attic, along with their contents. The 12 foot makeshift stack of 1x12 and 4x4s that I stored my paperbacks did not, nor did the rickety bookshelf my father made out of scrap wood when he got his first teaching job.

And then there's the books that were on those shelves. Books that made it through three previous major cuts, when having the names of Poul Anderson or Keith Laumer on the spine meant an automatic pass, when being genre fiction meant that you were loved and valued rather than sneered at and overlooked and out of print. Poul and Keith are in the cull pile now, as are Pournelle and Bova and Benford and Clarke and Asimov and and Ellison and Bear and Norton and Moorcock and Zelazny.

When I started putting those guys in the pile, I could feel my Robert Aspirin books start to cry. They knew they had no chance, that they and Craig Shaw Gardener and John DeChancie were so much rotting pulp, because a thousand just like them already clutter the shelves at the used book store.

Tonight I told friends of 25 years goodbye. Tonight I killed Fafrhd and the Grey Mouser, and Conan, and Logan and Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever. They lie among piles of kin, hundreds of characters from the last 5 decades of fantasy and science fiction.

Thank you, my friends. Thank you for all the years.

Goodbye.

Posted 3/05/2003 10:55:00 PM by Sid link


Beer of the Night

I was so impressed with the Allagash White, that I bought the Allagash Speciale Reserve when I saw it at the Peace Street Market Saturday. It also comes in a gigantic freaking corked bottle, so I suspect I'll be asleep here pretty soon. I like it. Good color, excellent head, very smooth and the hops don't bitchslap you like they do in so many ales.

That's my review. Here's a real one.

Posted 3/05/2003 10:46:00 PM by Sid link


The Silflay Hraka Amish Tech Support 2003 Dead Pool Death Pool

The Amish Tech Support 2003 Dead Pool has 100 participants, including myself, all of who picked 11 people to die in 2003. Here it is, March 5th, 2003, and not one of picks has died yet. So, while I wait for the Grim Reaper to make his inevitable appearance, I thought I'd pass the time by running a pool of my own.

Here's the rules. Pick the date that a choice from the Amish Tech Support 2003 Dead Pool finally dies.

Prize: Everlasting fame as the Official Psychic of Bloggerdom in the Silflay Hraka blogroll, or a bumper sticker, if any are left over after the war starts. Leave your choice in the comments.

Posted 3/05/2003 09:55:00 PM by Sid link


I wonder what Bucky wants for International Eat An Animal For PETA Day

Posted 3/05/2003 05:11:00 PM by Sid link


La Plainte Du Chameau

Merde! Je suis le plus stupide celui de tout!

Posted 3/05/2003 04:45:00 PM by Katie Bug link


Has the War Already Started?

Perhaps the first strike in the war against Iraq has already taken place. It isn't the build up of troops, or the permission to use bases in that region. We haven't dropped the first bomb, but we have started dropping leaflets. Could it be that this is the best sign yet that war is inevitable? We did a similar tactic in the early 90's, trying to get troops to surrender rather than engaging us in battle, and we are doing it again. The leaflets suggest that troops think about how to survive, assuming that fighting against the U.S. is NOT the way to go about that. Why ask troops to avoid battle if one is not approaching?

UPDATE: Thanks to Bigwig for this link which tells of some soldiers already waving the white flag.

Posted 3/05/2003 04:33:00 PM by Sid link


Introducing Turkey To Pork

Now that the Turkish military has come out in favor of stationing American troops in Turkey for use in opening a northern front, a 2nd, positive vote for that deployment appears likely. After all the times the Turkish military has interfered with or outright taken over the government, one would think that a certain number of legislators are going to jump at their command. I suspect the military won't do so this time, even if the face of a 2nd "no" vote. Nothing would undermine the American campaign for a democratic Iraq like losing a democratic Turkey in pursuit of that goal.

Besides, it looks like we've started to deploy our best negotiating tool at a more, shall we say, granular level.

There were indications that American diplomats have already been pressing their case to have the troop resolution reconsidered. Turkish and American officials confirmed that American diplomats have begun meeting privately with members of the majority party, including legislators who voted against the measure.
........
Emin Sirin, a Turkish legislator in the governing party who opposed the American plan, said he was visited by American diplomats on Tuesday to talk about the vote. Mr. Sirin said the American diplomats asked him what they could do to improve relations between the two countries, but he said he had not been asked to change his vote.
..........
Mr. Sirin said he had not decided to change his vote, but might if the United States government offered a more generous economic package.

Apparently there are certain types of pork even a Muslim can love.

Posted 3/05/2003 03:44:00 PM by Sid link


Doubles Match

The fact that the U.N. has secret plans for a post war administration of Iraq is not all that surprising. Kofi Annan & company would have to be, well, even bigger idiots that most people think they are to not have given some thought to the United Nations role in a postwar Iraq.

Not that they'll do any good there. This is the same organization whose troops not only failed to keep the peace, but stood idly by while the people they were supposedly protecting were massacred in Srebrenica , Rwanda, and most recently, the Congo. This is the same organization whose personnel engaged in human trafficking and prostitution in Bosnia. For all the protests of the United States, in the 60 years since it was founded, the United Nations has far more blood on its hands.

If you're questioning the commitment of the Bush administration to a peaceful, stable and democratic Iraq, this can hardly come as good news.

However, the above assumes that the leaked plans are actually real plans, which may not be so. They're rather short on detail, not to mention more or less a contradiction of what the Bush administration has said in the past couple of weeks about its post-Saddam plans, and make the rather startling statement the the United Nations has recognized it's inability to affect the course of events in Iraq.

It's not the plans that are the story here, it's the leak, and it's not only going to put extra pressure on the undecided members of the Security Council to vote for the American/British/Spanish resolution on Iraq, it's going to give them cover for that vote. There's the stick of "Don't let the United Nations become irrelevant" and the carrot "After all, what's the harm in voting for the means when the multilateral end is already all planned?"

The leak was an American and British volley, and today's vociferously reiterated promise to veto any such resolution is the French and Russian return. Probably the next volley and return is the announcement on both sides of new support for their respective positions. It will continue, back and forth like clockwork until time runs out, at which point France and Russia will discover that George was only playing because Tony needed him to.

Posted 3/05/2003 03:20:00 PM by Sid link


24, The Jack Bauer Carnival of the Vanities

This week's Carnival of the Vanities is at Gut Rumbles today. This is good, as I woke up thinking today was Thursday, and I had screwed poor overworked Acidman by making him the first Carnival host to be ignored by the founder.

Thanks, Acidman.

Upcoming Carnival stops include;

March 12th The Daily Rant
March 19th Wylie Blog
March 26th Dancing with Dogs
April 2nd Go Fish
April 9th Solonor's Ink Well
April 16th Billegible
April 23th The Kitchen Cabinet
April 30th Clubbeaux
May 7th Common Sense and Wonder
May 14th The Inscrutable American
May 21st Cut On The Bias
May 28th Dean's World

If you'd like to host the Carnival, drop us a line. Information on how to join the Carnival can be found here.

Posted 3/05/2003 12:47:00 AM by Sid link


What With All The Bile I Nearly Forgot

Beer of the Night - St. Peter's Best Bitter.

Posted 3/05/2003 12:14:00 AM by Sid link


This Space For Rant

Surprise, surprise, something funky is going on with blogger. There should be an extended rant of a post here about the Dr. Pepper blog marketing campaign, but it disappeared after I marked it as a draft this morning, and not longer shows up anywhere, and the publishing tool keeps insisting that it's still February after each post is published unless I shift-refresh the page.

Update: Well, it's back, obviously.

Posted 3/05/2003 12:13:00 AM by Sid link


Kill the Peppers

First marketing ruined Usenet. Then marketing ruined e-mail. Then marketing ruined Internet surfing. Now it's the blogosphere's turn.

The exploding popularity of Weblogs—diary like personal Web sites, also known as blogs—is often touted as a shining example of untainted expression.

But marketers at Dr Pepper see the movement as the perfect launch point for a “grass roots” campaign for a new “milk-based product with an attitude,” Raging Cow. The first step is an in-house blog (ragingcow.com); it tells the fictional backstory of the drink, which rolls out in April in flavors like Chocolate Insanity and Pina Colada Chaos.

Listen, you soulless brain eating automatons, if I want a milk-based product with an attitude, I'll get it like my father and grandfather before me, from a lactating pregnant woman. In fact, you better hope that she grows an extra nipple for Dr. Pepper products, because that's the only way any of your swill is getting into my house for the indefinite future. I'm going to pour your drink into the toilet at parties and then announce that it tasted funny and I just threw it up. I'm going to piss on your roadsigns. I'm going to tell everyone I meet that Dr. Pepper is the favorite drink of right-wing assassins and that it not only contains carcinogens, drinking too much of it turns you into a retard. For proof of this statement I will simply point to David Naughton. If my two year old daughter ever asks for a Dr. Pepper I'm going to tell her it's made from the eyes of kittens boiled alive in giant vats of acid. In fact, I'm going to tell every kid I meet that.

Next comes a blog-related twist on viral marketing—recruiting “key influence bloggers” to promote Raging Cow by sharing their enthusiasm, linking to the site and distributing special screensavers, banners and skins. Beginning with an initial group of six people in their late teens and early 20s—flown to Dallas with their parents for an induction session—Dr Pepper hopes to develop a “blogging network” to hype Raging Cow and “be part of the ‘in the know’ crowd,” says its brand-marketing honcho Andrew Springate. Those spreading the news via their blogs won’t disclose their flackitude, says Springate, because officially they’re not paid Dr Pepper employees; they only get promo items like hats and T shirts. “We’re independent and can advertise Raging Cow the way we want,” says Nicole, 18, a Louisiana high-school senior with a popular blog.

Key influence bloggers? What is that, some kind of code for people who are so desperate to whore themselves that they won't even ask for cash? How excellent for Dr. Pepper. Just in case you were wondering, Nichole, that's the same rationalization used to give back alley blowjobs to perfect strangers in exchange for a handful of cocktail peanuts, except of course that professional whores aren't that stupid.

Gosh, how special they must feel.

I wouldn't disclose my flackiwhore status if I were them either. That would be like begging perfect strangers to bitchslap them 24 hours a day. It's like announcing the to the varsity football team, in the locker room, that not only are you mentally superior to them in way possible to measure, but that your half-elven warrior monk could kick their ass physically if he were only real. Also that football is a stupid game played by simplistic morons who are sexually attracted to their fathers.

Not that withholding that status does you even one iota of good, you pathetic corporate rectum suckers, as the company whose offal you are so busy swallowing has already outed you as the desperate little scumbuckets that you are.

Introducing the Official Dr. Pepper Corporate Whores of 2003


About A Girl
Pam is such a Dork
BoyMeetsLife
Kelly Rogers
Italian
sparkley

One Weblog guru thinks the campaign might backfire. “It seems ironic that a company would want to manipulate a phenomenon that’s so generally bent on exposing things,” says alpha blogger Doc Searls. “In my view blogs are the antidote to viral marketing.”

I hope to God he's right. The good Doc has mentioned it already, which is unsurprising in that he was interviewed for the story.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go indulge in some apparently much needed public shaming.

Update: Chronotope has done some excellent spadework. Link via Instapundit

Posted 3/04/2003 01:01:00 PM by Sid link


Shaming Abraham, Martin and John

Let's assume for a moment that George Bush has decided that Saddam is evil, if for no other reason than Saddam tried to kill his daddy. It's not much of a stretch, especially if one agrees with the European view of him as a simplistic cowboy.

Now, we know what George's response is when he's confronted with something he sees as evil.

What do you think Harry Belafonte will do?

Short answer: Nothing that puts him at any personal risk, and nothing effective.

Think about it. If you were confronted by something or someone whom you knew to be evil, what would you do? Evil. Not bad, or misunderstood or oppressed or misguided or chemically imbalanced or acting out. Evil.

What Harry Belafonte does, when confronted with evil, right here in his home country, is to whine about it to foreign reporters*. There's a heroic display of bravery and virtue for you. Thanks for the information, Harry.

It's a good thing Rosa Parks rode the bus that day, instead of you.

*Zod: As opposed to you, brave soul that you are, who.......wait for it.....writes about it on the Internet!

Oh, be quiet and let me have my screed.

Posted 3/04/2003 11:08:00 AM by Sid link


Hraka Demographic Survey

Which would you like to see more of?

An in-depth exploration of the root causes of Oregon's budget shortfall and its consequences for the educational system of that state, featuring explanatory digressions into the demographics and geography of the upper Northwest,

or

the Black Jesuit Order of Lizards?

We'll need this data in order to sell out to the man, assuming the man ever comes sniffing around.

Posted 3/04/2003 10:36:00 AM by Sid link


Poultry in Motion

Chickenshields Head Back to Coop

And here I was thinking that 'Pantywaistshields' was a clever coinage.

Posted 3/04/2003 10:30:00 AM by Katie Bug link


Latest on My Boy's "Parts"

Okay, weeks have passed and we still haven't decided what my daughter will call the male parts. My ideas of "his unit," and "cupid's battering ram" were quickly vetoed by the wife (she is like France). The other day we were giving "the boy" a bath when the Bug decided she wanted to sit up on the counter with us, not because she has a real desire to watch him get a bath, but she is working on getting the same amount of attention she used to. The conversation went like this.

Bug: Look at the boy's coochie, daddy. It is huge!!!

I almost peed in my pants laughing so hard. Sadly, my first thought was that at some point the boy would appreciate those sentiments, but now was not the time. Plus, I didn't want to make a scene in front of the wife so I let that drop. Since that time we have mentioned the fact that boys are different from girls and that we don't have the same parts, so last night the Bug and I were sitting on the couch and this conversation took place:

Bug: You don't have a coochie, daddy.

Me: That's right, Bug. I sure don't.

Bug: Mom and I have a coochie, but you and the boy don't.

Me: Right again (thinking all the while, "Dear God, let this conversation be over").

She went on to say how boys and girls are different, blah, blah, blah. Weeks are passing and still we are not coming up with a good name for the unit. It isn't a problem to come up with something for the boy to call it, but I can't have the Bug calling it his "staff" when she is 13. As mentioned before, "penis" is not an option. I realize it is the correct term, but that name just doesn't sound masculine enough, plus it would give me the creeps to hear the Bug say it (I can't explain why, it just would). Some of the best suggestions I received were "yogurt slinger" and "his junk" from prarie dog, and "danglybits" from bill. I really gave "danglybits" and "his junk" consideration, but again France, I mean the wife, used her veto power.

Posted 3/04/2003 10:11:00 AM by Katie Bug link


Links to Pearl

The arrest of al Qaeda operations chief Khalid Shaikh Mohammed is certainly a great victory in the U.S.'s was against terrorism, but perhaps one family is more excited than most. For Daniel Pearl's family, it may represent justice on a more personal level. This arrest has officials talking again of the murder of Daniel Pearl. Mohammed has been implicated in the murder by one of the Pakistanis who led authorities to Pearl's body last year. I suggest we make Mohammed have a public execution. We will host the party over at the Silflay Hraka Beach House and will pick up the tab for the sure to be pay-per-view event.

Posted 3/04/2003 10:02:00 AM by Katie Bug link


Is Michael Jackson a Racist?

In a new article in Vanity Fair, Michael Jackson is again making news. The article again brings up the notion that Michael is bleaching his skin white because he does not like being black, suggesting that he even refers to black people as "spabooks." Is MJ (all apologies to Michael Jordan) prejudiced against blacks? He certainly has gone to great lengths to look different than he used to. Maybe he is sensitive towards mummies, because that is what his nose looked like the last time I saw it, with skin (or faux skin) peeling off of it.

Perhaps the weirdest thing about the article (and that is saying something about Jackson) is that he paid (allegedly) an assload of money to a voodoo chief to put a curse on a bunch of people to have them killed, including Steven Spielberg and David Geffen. He also almost had his amusement park equipment repossessed because of late payments. He really doesn't need the ranch anyway, the fact that he lives his life as if he was still the biggest star in the world is proof enough that he will always live in Neverland.

Posted 3/04/2003 01:06:00 AM by Sid link


Treat Secret

Finally, before I retire, a conversation;

Okay, if you're finished going to the potty, stand up and I'll put your diaper on.

I don't wear diaper, daddy.

You're right, you're right. I meant 'put on your panties.' Your daddy's a silly man.

You not a man. You a girl. Be a good girl and you get treats.

Posted 3/04/2003 12:53:00 AM by Sid link


When they kick at your front door, how you gonna come?
With your hands on your head, or on the trigger of your gun?
When the law break in, how you gonna go?
Shot down on the pavement, or waiting on death row?

Back at the beginning of the last decade, in my recently divorced, shitty job and behind on the rent days, come Saturday night Kehaar, the Boogie Scarecrow and I would watch COPS before hitting the Chapel Hill bars. I loved COPS. No matter how bad my situation was, I wasn't nearly as bad off as the idiotic morons and redneck crackers that showed up on that show. I could always look at them as they staggered towards the waiting police cars, and feel a little bit better about myself

Yes, yes, I know that was shallow of me, and mean. "Looking down on others doesn't make you any better than them." was the basis of almost every other sentence my mother said to me during my adolescence. Not that it took, at least not for a long while. Well, ye without sin cast the first stone, and all that. Looking down on others is practically the defining experience of the human condition, and anyway I don't do it more now that I'm so well adjusted and happy.

Well, not much, at least.

But I've gotten away from my point, which was that drug-dealing and pimping may sound glamorous, but once a person has seen the no-teeth dipshits and their greasy baby mommas being hauled off in dirty wife beaters and tattered panties, or watched them violently vomit up a gallon of liquor on the side of the road, the professions lose their luster, and their practitioners become objects of scorn and derision.

COPS has done more to make drug use uncool in 14 years than the U.S. government has in 50.

Given that, what do you suppose is going to happen to Al-Qaeda's potential pool of recruits once they see this?


Title lyrics from Guns of Brixton, by The Clash

Posted 3/03/2003 11:05:00 PM by Sid link


Meat is Murder, Delicious Murder

Been meaning to post about this for a couple of days, but events kept interfering. Today for instance, I left my wallet at home, which meant that I bought no coffee, which meant that I took lunch to go home and get it. Lack of time and caffeine combined to produce nothing of any substance save frustration today. That is only now starting to recede, perhaps aided by the Beer of the Night, the dancing couple Zywiec, a hoppy little lager from Poland.

Now, back to the original topic of conversation, even though this appears as a monolog, which was the activist blogosphere. Not that you could have known that, as I had yet to mention it. Whipping up the readers into a fine froth and pointing them at a target, in other words. I've had fair success at this, on occasion, which is both surprising and gratifying. My default expectation is to be ignored, so when I'm not, the day ends up being pretty good. So, a belated thanks goes out to all ya'll who went out of your way to bother the folks at the Portland airport, Rep. Neal's office, and Not In Our Name. I'm sure I'll find another hobbyhorse to ride for a day or two sometime in the near future, and I'll ask for what help you're willing to give then as well.

Meanwhile, all of you who , I dunno, don't read any other blogs and so are unaware of the latest memes produced thereof, (Hi mom!) might want to check out TroopTrax and International Eat An Animal For PETA Day. I've sent Michele ten bucks for her cause, and I'm fairly sure I can help Meryl out come March 15th without even thinking about it.

Though now that I do think about it, I figure the best meat to eat come that Saturday has got to be veal, and preferably veal that I've slaughtered myself. Anybody have a milk fed calf and a gun I can borrow?

Zod: What's wrong with a knife, you pussy?
Don't know how to knap flint.
Zod: What the hell are you talking about?
This.

"Scarcely had he touched the sleek hide of the deer with a momentum that sent the animal to its knees than he had grasped a horn in either hand, and with a single quick wrench twisted the animal's neck completely round, until he felt the vertebrae snap beneath his grip.

The lion was roaring in rage close behind him as he swung the deer across his shoulder, and, grasping a foreleg between his strong teeth, leaped for the nearest of the lower branches that swung above his head.

With both hands he grasped the limb, and, at the instant that Numa sprang, drew himself and his prey out of reach of the animal's cruel talons.

There was a thud below him as the baffled cat fell back to earth, and then Tarzan of the Apes, drawing his dinner farther up to the safety of a higher limb, looked down with grinning face into the gleaming yellow eyes of the other wild beast that glared up at him from beneath, and with taunting insults flaunted the tender carcass of his kill in the face of him whom he had cheated of it.

With his crude stone knife he cut a juicy steak from the hindquarters, and while the great lion paced, growling, back and forth below him, Lord Greystoke filled his savage belly, nor ever in the choicest of his exclusive London clubs had a meal tasted more palatable.

The warm blood of his kill smeared his hands and face and filled his nostrils with the scent that the savage carnivora love best.

And when he had finished he left the balance of the carcass in a high fork of the tree where he had dined, and with Numa trailing below him, still keen for revenge, he made his way back to his tree-top shelter, where he slept until the sun was high the following morning."

Been wanting to do that since I was ten.

Zod: Ooookay. Let's just go back to appreciating beer. Not that I think you need to go appreciate another one or anything.

Well, if you insist.

Posted 3/03/2003 04:37:00 PM by Katie Bug link


This Is Absurd

Here is a pretty neat site with a long list of absurd inventions. My personal favorite is the 12 Gauge Golf Club., although the Portable Spittoon is equally as cool.

Posted 3/03/2003 03:50:00 PM by Sid link


Where Have All The Lyricists Gone? Long Time Passing.

A Christian rock group*, apparently petrified that the peace movement was in danger of becoming terminally unhip, decided to record a peace anthem that would appeal to today's youth.

What do the up to the minute youth of today listen to?

The soundtrack to Grease, apparently.

Franki Valli, to be exact.

Peace is the Word

*Despite what you might think, the first names of the Jesus Twins are not Cheesy and Preachy**

**They love! They share!
They share and love and share!
Love, love, love!
Share, share, share!
The Cheesy and Preachy Show!

Posted 3/03/2003 01:09:00 AM by Sid link


Trolled By The Fishbowl Debutante

I really like the HaloScan admin system. Like YACCS before it, it's got a setup that allows me to see all the new comments at once, so I don't have to actually scroll through all the posts to see the new comments. The only problem is that occasionally it's hard to tell which post a person is responding to, especially the really old ones, and especially if there's no context in the comment that tells me which post it's referring to.

Occasionally, though, it's not.

After perusing your site, I see how appropriate your title is. You do indeed like to eat up your own shit.
Robyn | | 03.02.03 - 10:38 pm | #

Now, that was obvious enough to me, but for the rest of you, it refers to this post, written back in the days when Hraka was a very young and tiny blog.

It was one of a series of comments, more or less following the same theme. Feel free to look for them, I've always wanted more people to read the archives. Oddly, the poster didn't leave a homepage link, and I've never known a blogger not to do that, but a quick Google on the e-mail address gave me that.

No explanation there for the evident antipathy Robyn holds for us, but I suspect it's political in nature. Most of the trolling in the comments section is, though it's about evenly split between the right and the left. Us drug-legalizing homosexual rights supporting pro-war anti-religious churchgoers get it from all sides, just like the Falwell-tweaking, gay-marriage supporting, drug legalizing, pro-abortion, pro-immigration, anti-trade barrier, wary-of-organized-religion conservatives and the pro-business, anti-tax, gun-toting, second amendment supporting, tough-on-crime, personal-responsibility-advocating liberals.

Maybe I should start a new blogroll category for them, call it "Hraka Haters!"

Zod: Because we could use a few more links on the page.

Update: Too little, Too late?

Posted 3/02/2003 11:12:00 PM by Sid link


Weekend Brew

Went with Kehaar to the Pour House in Raleigh Friday, which was hosting the "five years in business without crashing like a dot.com" party for the knick-knack salesman's company. The ant-eating Secret Service agent was there, as well as one of Kehaar's insane ex's and a old door to door vacuum cleaner sales associate of mine who now runs a art website. First time I go to a bar in over three years, and I can't turn around with bumping into someone I know, most of whom had nothing to with the five-year shindig, but were perfectly happy to accept my extra free beer tickets This number included Kirsten, who called me by name and then could not for the life of her remember why she knew me. I was no help, having only vaguely recognized her to begin with.

Beer of Friday Night - N.C. company Highland Brewing's Gaelic Ale was the best beer of the night. Sadly, my copious notes on this beer now appeared blurred and rather incoherent, though the reference to "Laddie, I don't know where you've been, but I see you won first prize." are intriguing.

Beer of Last Night - Southern Comfort and Tab. Everyone needs a break every now and then.

Beer of the Night - Scarecrow Ale, an organic brew from the Wychwood Brewery, the company with the best labels in beer. The company may have solved some of its export issues, because although they are still using the clear bottle, mine was in no way skunky. It was very noticeable hoppy when first poured, indeed rather a shock to the mouth, but it sweetened up considerably as it grew warmer, with a slight caramel overtone that grew more pronounced as the temperature climbed. If I remember to, next time I get one these I'll pour it and let it sit for a half hour before drinking it. How's that for beer snobbery?

Posted 3/02/2003 02:27:00 PM by Sid link


Barking Spider Safari

Kehaar, Ngnat and I went salamander hunting in the flood plain behind our house yesterday. Or rather, I went salamander hunting. Kehaar went to see what the flood plain looked like when it was flooded, and Ngnat came variously to throw sweet gum balls into puddles, to water random patches of ground with her plastic watering can, or to point out pieces of trash blown into the woods from the construction sites of the previous year.

"Whassat?"

"That's a piece of Styrofoam siding."

"Salarmanner live there?"

"I'll look honey, but I doubt it."

And there never was. We'd see the occasional centipede, but no salamanders. Centipedes and black widow spiders are the only things that make homes under that stuff. I'll take a trash bag next time we go, and remove some of that habitat, along with the beer cans and tar paper. I should point out that we were not on my land, as if one could call the three-quarters of a acre we live on "land". We were on Army Corp of Engineers property. Technically that's everyone's land, I suppose, which is why it was trashy. Litter is the purest example of the tragedy of the commons.

The salamander I was looking for in particular was the Marbled Salamander, which is fairly common. They start breeding after the first warm rain of the year, which fell a week or so ago. We didn't find any, despite the fact that when I'm not looking for them, they're all over the place. I know there's a least a pair of them under the house. I spotted them under the plastic containers I store my seine nets in when I was putting the Christmas tree stand back up for the year. I didn't bother to tell the Sainted Wife, who would be less than thrilled with the idea of fauna breeding underneath the living room.

We did see a Blue Heron, which Ngnat spotted, and heard our resident pair of Barred Owls call a couple of times. The sound is pretty spooky unless you know what's making it. They tend to go off at any time of day, though evening is their most active period. Both of those species are fish and frog eaters, so from my point of view our yard backs up to something that's closer to a swamp than a flood plain. There's standing water on it for three-quarters of the year as it is, and we had been in a two-year drought up until September.

Not that I care. Having a swamp in the back yard is a plus, as far as I'm concerned. That way I don't have to drive anywhere to go bother the fauna. I can do it within sight of the house.

Though, as I said above, not that I managed to do much of that yesterday. Toddlers don't tend to cover a lot of ground, and they are easily distracted by any new thing, and everything is new at that age. So, no salamanders for me, but Ngnat saw her first piles of actual rabbit hraka, which she studiously watered with her green plastic watering can.

"Wet poopie," she said, with all the satisfaction of a job well done.

She also saw deer tracks, and raccoon tracks, and touched moss, and stuck pine twigs into the muddy stump of an overturned tree until it looked like Pinhead's pincushion. All were also watered, after which she demanded a refill from the emergency backup watering can Kehaar carried for just that purpose. Watering things has been a theme of her's for a while now, so we'd come prepared. She also learned the joys of walking on the trunks of downed trees, after watching Kehaar nearly lose his balance and fall into a puddle while traversing a particularly small and shaky pine log.

"He fall in water by himself!" she predicted, with far more joy in the anticipation of that prospect that I would've expected. My genes coming through again, I suppose.

Kehaar, whose digestive system was inadequately processing the previous night's beer, was also the impetus for her first animal call, as he periodically drowned out the background noises of the swamp with some of his own. After one particularly resounding....event, Ngnat stopped and looked around, seeking the source of the disturbance.

"What was that?"

"That's Uncle Kehaar's barking spider call, honey."

"What?"

"He's calling animals, honey."

"Oh." She considered this for a moment, then decided she could help. "Hellloooooooo! Animasss! Where are you?"

That, along with a final emptying of the watering can, was the end of the safari. Ngnat climbed up the eight-foot bank that separated our yard from the far more interesting area beneath it, and looked down at us, considering.

"We go play balls now."

And so we did.