Silflay Hraka

7/27/2002





More advice from the learned professor on how how a confused teen can grow into his New Perfect Manhood.

Determining Virtue before Marriage

Whether a young man has kept his virtue or not,

Either way, it doesn't matter. He's gonna claim "not".

if he has any sense of responsibility left, he is at least selfishly concerned about the virtue of the woman he expects to marry.

Because you don't want to spend your hard earned cash on someone else's bastards

Unfortunately, some young men have been so trained that they believe they are justified, during courtship, in engaging in exciting familiarities

Prudence, may I addess you as Pru?

to determine whether or not their sweethearts would be willing to yield.

Sweethearts unwilling to yield are the leading cause of accidents at on-ramps, so be careful of letting those that pass the tests drive.

Such tests are cruel, unjustifiable and positively ungentlemanly. Only men who are densely ignorant or low in their ideals will stoop to such methods.

They'll be the ones with the gleam in their eye and the spring in their step.

Purity, in either men or women, is expressed in the look of the eye, features, tone of conversation, deportment and the company one keeps.

Since we're the company you keep, you're screwed.

These are the criterions by which one may judge of the virtue of another. One sex has as much right to demand virtue in a lover as the other has.

And if i'm more interested in demanding vice?

It is just as right that a young man should make a confession of wrong as it is for a woman. Where a woman has made a mistake in her past life, she is just as capable of a true reformation and living virtuously in the future and making a true wife as is a man capable of taking the corresponding steps in life.

That is, not at all.

When men as sacredly keep their virtue in single life as women are now expected to do, all respectable young people, men as well as women, will meet at the marriage alter equally pure.

I'd say most people meet at the altar equally pure nowdays, even if they didn't quite travel in the steps above to get there, and there's a whole more action our way.

Coming Soon: The First Night of Marriage, Facts a Young Husband Should Know (or Deep Throat was a myth), and Proof of Virginity after the Consumation of Marriage (How she can tell you were a virgin)


Postscript: First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself. Also, you're currently at the old site. Fresh Hraka is posted every day at our current location.

7/26/2002




Went to see the in-laws a week or so ago, to drop off Ngnat with them for a week. She loves it, as they do her every bidding. You should have heard her cackle when she got G-daddy to crawl in through an open first floor window.

On the way down, every single restaurant in every little town we drive through is jam packed with people. My wife says it's a southern thing, that Friday night is going out to eat night. She's pretty matter-of-fact about this, and is rather surprised when I say I've never heard of it. I agree with her, the evidence for at least that night was pretty ovewhelming. Our neighbors do the same thing, I just never noticed it. People get paid on Friday, and that night the family goes to the local fish shack.

So is this really a Southern thing, or is it more widespread? Surely people in say....Detroit go out on Friday night, right? Anyone else ever notice this? Of course, since this is set to appear on a Friday night, if the theory is correct, no one will see it.


Postscript: First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself. Also, you're currently at the old site. Fresh Hraka is posted every day at our current location.




More of The New Perfect Manhood, unexpurgated because there was nothing to expurgate.


A Mutual Understanding in Matters of Sex

If you have one of these now, you won't after you're married.

We are often asked by young men: “To what extent may young people, who are engaged or who are contemplating marriage, talk over their future sex relations?”

These young men are serial masturbators, and are reported by us to the constabulary.

We have a natural modesty and nearly all of us have a superabundance of mock modesty.

Then explain the codpiece, Einstein.

The latter keeps one from understanding himself and his natural and safe social relations with his life companion, his children and society. Natural modesty should be studiously and conscientiously cultivated by children, youths, friends, lovers and all married people, from the cradle to the grave.

Hence the modern "modesty state" decried by Democrats nationwide.

True culture, genuine chastity and great character demand such cultivation. The principles of a single standard of morals, of personal and social purity as an element of character and social righteousness may be discussed freely by all intelligent young people.

Such a standard is widely discussed among the young intelligentsia of the modern age, albeit in code not accessible to the older generation. It is generally referred to as "warez.". "Phear my l33t skillz biznatch." should be understood as an endorsement of the Hegelian position that the Idea is one in all things; it is universal necessity and reality can be nothing but a mirror of the Idea. As such, there is single standard of morals that can be perceived via a close study of reality.

Only the most extreme mock modesty, idiotic prudery or a sense of personal guilt would taboo these subjects.

So, the in-depth discussion on the best way to light your farts is a go.

A discussion of the delicate and sacred sanctuaries of male and female reproduction or their functions, by young men and women, engaged or unengaged, involves natural modesty and sacred ethical rights.

We hold these rights to be self-evident, so we're not going to tell you what they are.

In such discussions by the engaged there are grave dangers of shocking natural modesty and invading personal ethical rights, by making these delicate subjects too common.

So, when she says "For the last time Edgar, I do not wish to further discuss the smearing of your man-seed upon my voluptuous globes of heaving passion!" it is best to take her at her word.

Such privileges do not belong to the unengaged, unless they are seriously contemplating an engagement.

Lie to get by, my man. Lie to get by.

What they may discuss

There are some vital matters about which engaged young people should have and mutual understanding.

The most important of these, and I cannot stress this enough, is your intended's position on the gift of oral pleasure.

The best time for them to discuss these matters would be when they first consider the question of an engagement. There is a natural interest on the part of each to know whether the other is physically normal so that he or she will be able to meet all the requirements of a life companion and of parenthood.

Candid photography is helpful here. Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more.

It would be a splendid custom for each to present to the other a certificate from a reputable physician, giving assurance of health and normal conditions sexually. Until this becomes customary or a law,

In the Bush police state (pun not only intended but giggled over incessantly)

a young man should have the privilege of saying to his sweetheart: “So far as I know there is nothing connected to with my physical being that will interfere with my performing the functions of a husband and father.

I refuse to look down there, however, as this might sully my purity of spirit. Could you take a quick glance?

Are you aware of any hindrance of a physical nature which would interfere with you performing the corresponding functions of a wife and mother?”

This is an excellent time to introduce the muslim concept of "follow and swallow."

If there are difficulties,

Lie! Lie through your teeth! or Run! Run like the wind!

then there is reason for discussing them. If none, this subject should be considered settled. If a young woman knows that for some reason she is sterile, or that motherhood would be very unwise, she should not encourage love making by a gentleman friend.

Strangers in alleyways are an entirely different matter.

If a young man has reasonable grounds for believing that his sweetheart has a secret purpose to deliberately avoid all maternal responsibilities of married life,

such as "she is breathing."

he has a right to inform her that his ideal home is one consisting of a father and a mother and a reasonable number of children.

Reasonable being thirteen. Don't settle for one less.

She should state whether she is willing to aid him in building such an ideal home.

Surprisingly, many will not. These women are frigid.

The young man should assure his fiancée that he is not asking her to become his wife for selfish gratification;

Assure your intended that Giselle at Madam Tournay's takes care of that admirably thrice a week.

that it is his purpose to make her an intelligent husband

out of clay and a magic elixir handed down to him from his ancestors

and to develop and maintain a self-control that will protect her natural rights; and that he will respect her invitation in the consumation of marriage and all subsequent marital privileges.

cf Giselle

If either has forfeited virtue in the past, without its involving parenthood, and virtue has been restored by right living,

or in her case, surgery,

one is under no more obligation to make a confession than is the other.

Men should skip this entirely, as it always sounds like braggadocio, rather than lament.

In the event of such a misfortune in earlier life, we would advise lifetime secrecy.

Tell her you caught it from a public toilet seat. Remember, protect Giselle at all costs!

Where the fall has involved parenthood, a confession should be made.

More than one confession is again considered braggadocio.

Unmarried parenthood involves personal responsibilities to those who have been wronged that takes precedence over the new obligations to be assumed in a future marriage.

Unless you have money.

It is only a question of a few more years when every state will have a law providing that every unmarried mother must care for her own child, and that every child born out of wedlock must be legitimized by its father. The unmarried mother must be married to the father of her child, or she must become his honorably divorced wife, receiving a just alimony. If he refuses marriage, he will be required to give a heavy bond, as a guarantee to the state that he will meet his monthly obligations to his divorced wife and that he will support his child and make it his legal heir. The fact that we now have no such law does not relieve the guilty of one iota of his or her obligations.

It just makes them impossible to enforce.

Next: Determining Virtue before Marriage. No, it doesn't involve a team of sherpas and a speculum. I wish you people would stop asking about it. I'll get there, I'll get there!


Postscript: First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself. Also, you're currently at the old site. Fresh Hraka is posted every day at our current location.

7/25/2002




Ngnat loves the computer, possibly because that's where her father spends all of his time. I keep telling her mother that I'll be happy to spend time downstairs as soon as I get the wireless network and the laptop with the 802.11 card.

Until then, Ngnat will be able to continue her habit of running wildly through the hall upstairs after her bath, screeching and trailing her towel behind, to sit on daddy's lap and watch her favorite flash animations.

1. Kitten Band
2. Blode and the Giant Bee
3. Irrational Exuberance
4. Ja Da
5. Pong Look out for the pop-ups.
6. Un Lapin
7. Hyakugojyuuichi!

And her favorite, that one that worries her mother the most:

8. Radiskull and Devil Doll


Postscript: First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself. Also, you're currently at the old site. Fresh Hraka is posted every day at our current location.




So I wrote that Usenet smells like a comic book store, of sweat and anger and dried spooge. I don't think that. I think Usenet probably smells much, much worse. But I started to wonder. What do the other parts of the Internet smell like? Google? Vanilla Ice cream and licorice. AOL? Seventh inning stretch in the men's room at Yankee Stadium. Amazon? Home Depot.

And the blogs? Blog were easy, for some reason, those that I know. Some of the ones I've just started to visit, I'm not sure of the smell yet. If I left you out, sorry. I'll add blogs as I discover their odor. Also, I'm talking blog smell here, not blogger smell.

Meryl Yourish - White Linen, old paper and catbox

War Now! - Vegemite and a cold stein of best bitter

Coyote at the Dog Show - Black powder

Diaphanus - Cider and Cigarette smoke

The Unablogger - Astrolube

Empty Wishes - Roses, brie and exhaust fumes

Tres Producers - Caramelized pear and gorgonzola pizza

HokiePundit - Cannabis

Ravenwolf - Talcum powder, baby oil, and sweat

File13's Amish Tech Support - Breakfast: Banana bread and OJ

Ones and Zeros - Doritos, graph paper, and pencil shavings

TANSTAAFL - Moon rock

Warblogger Watch - Mimeographs, patchouli and ozone.

Rantburg - Cotton and Split Rails

Daily Pundit - English library: Shiny dark woods, leather chairs, and pipe smoke

RoverPundit - Pine air freshener and mud

Lileks - Lime Jello with whipped cream

Keep Trying - Sandalwood and Anxiety

Horologium - Electric train transformer, circa 1974.

Unsent Letters - Lilacs and ink

Raising Hell - Diapers

The Ben Files - Gumbo and Office Paper

Glen Frazier- Pastrami

Brilliant Corners - Primer and Developer

Harrumph! - Low Tide on the Bayou.

Flat Ass - Molson and Bridget Jones

Right Wing News - Tums

Profound Samurai - Green tea and cherry blossoms

Fragments from Floyd - Coffee brewing on the fire, the morning after the first night's rain on the Trail

Vodkapundit - Swimming pool chlorine and mesquite charcoal

Winds O'Change - Cookfires on the Grand Trunk Road

Public Nuisance - Cherry yogurt and gluteraldehyde

A Dog's Life - Collies in the sun. Specifically Lad, A Dog. and Lady.

Ranting Screeds - Tabasco and spittle

Instapundit - Sawdust, split beer, salted peanuts and cold hard gold.

Spleenville - Choler and blood

The Feces Flinging Monkey - Pretty much has to be angry chimp, don't you think?

WeckUpToThees! - Gunpowder and buffalo wings

Iberian Notes - Paella

Oceanguy - Challah and Salt

ColdFury - Olmstead Red in the upstairs cigar room

Midwest Conservative Journal - Corn and Lutefisk

Pop Culture Junk Mail - Strawberry Poptarts

WylieBlog - Pigskin and dust

A Small Victory - KFC original recipe

Zonitics.com - Prickly Pear Margaritas

Natalie Solent - Walker's Shortbread Biscuits.

The Rat's Nest - Sake and Cedar

Trojan Horseshoes - Barbeque

Not A Fish - Figs and sun-dried sheets.

Andrew Sullivan - Absinthe

Doubting Thomas - Hyssop and vinegar

Dr. Weevil - Pitch, Turpentine and Rosewater.

Society for the Preservation of Clue - New cut lumber

Punkey - Cabbage and Leather

Uncommon Sense - Chaps and Grass clippings

boosman.com - Glossy paper

Tarheel Pundit - Cider and a Lasagna in the cave at the Rat

La Blogatrice - Clove cigarettes and Snow

Brendan O'Neill - Fear


Update by request:
Poet and Peasant - a bag of non-pareils, ebony wood, and metal salts
Blogatelle - Trojans and kamikazes
Coyote Howling - Three in one oil, 3rd base fingers, and old cigarette butts.
A Voyage to Arcturus - Scorched dust and hot solder
Redwood Dragon - Grape juice and doggie beds.
Cornblog - Newly plowed dirt and asphalt
Bear's Cave - Microwave popcorn and an old polo work shirt

Now, if this pissed you off, don't take it too seriously, by the end it was so late I was guessing, and I mixed them up, so the ones at the bottom are not necessarily the ones I did last. Alternatively, if you really like your scent, it's because I spent a lot of time coming up with just the right combo, because I love you.


Postscript: First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself. Also, you're currently at the old site. Fresh Hraka is posted every day at our current location.

7/24/2002




It just struck me though that in all likelihood, I've got a really odd sense of humor. I giggled all the way through this book. That's now, of course, not when I first read it. So if ya'll don't like it, well, I guess I'll beg for you to return after we get back from the beach. Of course, if it's a hit, then I've got something on the order of 1000 posts stored up.

More New Perfect Manhood

Social Privileges

Young people should have an abundance of safe and sane social rituals.

Preferably designed by their grandparents. Barrel hoop, anyone?

They should be faithful to their trusts and responsibilities.

Thrifty, brave, clean, reverent.

When an aspirant for office requests the voters of a town, city, county or state to support his candidacy for the office of treasurer, he is asking the voters to entrust the safe keeping of the public funds into his hands. The temptation to misuse these funds is so great that the law requires the successful candidate to furnish adequate bond.

Pity we don't require that of every aspirant. "Sure, you can be a Senator, but you have to put your entire personal fortune into a bond. At the end of your term, the voters will decide how much of it you get back."

When a young man is admitted to the privilege and honor of calling on a young woman in her parlor,

Spider. Fly.

taking her out walking or driving, to hear a lecture

Would you like to go hear a lecture, you naughty, naughty girl?

or to a place of entertainment, he assumes the responsibility of protecting the girl’s honor and virtue with which he is entrusted by her parents. His social privileges are limited to the absolute protection of the girl.

Stand absolutely still, Vivian. I saw a nipple spider go into your dress, and I owe it to your parents to go in after it.

For him to go beyond these limits would be a social crime against the girl and her parents—a far greater crime than for a treasurer to misappropriate the public funds.

Which of course is no crime at all.

Unengaged young people, under no conditions, should engage in hugging and kissing.

Ever. Parents should touch them only to discipline them, lest they learn of the wicked, wicked pleasure that is human contact.

Even in the engaged state these social relations are not necessary for expressing love between lovers and they are not essential to blissful courtship.

The ideal courtship is one in which the couple never meets. Indeed it is also the basis for a blissful marriage.

When young people are engaged, and the date of engagement is fixed and not far off, an occasional good-bye kiss could be safely exchanged without the ill effects of spooning.

No tongue! No tongue!

Long Engagements

Long engagements are seldom necessary and rarely advisable.

People in 1916 tended to explode from frustration, for one thing. In the 363rd day of a year's engagement, grooms were apt to go off at a touch.

A young man should not be in a hurry to choose a life companion.

We feed on his agony. Oh, it is delicious.

The first chance is rarely the best one.

Um, if she's not the best one, can I, you know?

He should not confine his attentions to one girl so long as he is not seriously in love. He should carefully study his young woman friends and their families.

Follow them home from a distance at night, ducking into shrubberies as necessary. Women love men with a furtive nature.

He should respect the rights of his children by choosing for them a good mother.

Unless they are already mothers. Then he should shun them in public and spoon with them in private. mmmmmmmmm.........spoon.

No young man should trifle with his affections or the affections of a girl.

A. Trifling with your affections makes you blind. B. Not unless you see a clitoris spider.

Every engagement should be followed by a marriage.

Even when she dies halfway through. You want to get laid or not, young man?

When once engaged, he should remember that there are privileges that are not his until the legal phase of marriage has completed their oneness. Any violation of chastity before marriage is a sin against society, weakens self-respect, causes a loss of confidence in each other,

leads to embarrassing stains on the ottoman,

and often leads to domestic inharmony and the divorce court.

Tommorrow in the unending saga of how my perversions came to be: A Mutual Understanding in Matters of Sex.


Postscript: First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself. Also, you're currently at the old site. Fresh Hraka is posted every day at our current location.




Those of you who have been visiting Hraka for a while (pause for laughter) know by now that Ngnat has a serious thing for the Wiggles. It's Wiggles day in and day out around here, at least it was. Whether the following have stronger magic or whether the Wiggles have started losing their ungodly Aussie hypnotic power still remains to be seen, but there are a few videos that she's been asking for in place of Greg, Murray, Jeff and Anthony lately.

Stop Making Sense. Toddler Dance Madness
Fantasia 2000. She especially likes the Donald Duck/Noah's Ark/Pomp and Circumstance piece, pounding out the beat to it on the coffee table with her chubby little hands.
My Neighbor Totoro. She times her giggles so that she's laughing at the same time as the girls in the movie.
Winnie The Pooh. God forbid she go to bed without her three Poohs "Pooh", "Litta pooh" and "Udda pooh".

If anyone gets the idea that all our child does is watch the television.......well, you're correct. That sucker is better than rum in the milk bottle for slowing a kid down.


Postscript: First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself. Also, you're currently at the old site. Fresh Hraka is posted every day at our current location.

7/23/2002




The Blogathon is running the day we're returning from the beach, so I can't participate. I can be a sponsor, though. There are three friends of hraka that I know of who will be participating, all for good causes. They could use your help, too.

Meryl Yourish, blogging for the Shaare Zedek Medical Center
Laurence Simon, blogging for Magen David Adom and
Michele Catalano, blogging for the Daniel Pearl Foundation


Postscript: First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself. Also, you're currently at the old site. Fresh Hraka is posted every day at our current location.




More from the 1916 male sexuality book that gave me my New Perfect Manhood.

Why Do Young People Fail?

A few feeble-minded girls and boys fail because of their inability to appreciate the significance of a fallen condition and for lack of resisting power.

Most of them major in Art.

This class is very small compared to the mentally normal fallen class. Others say, “Girls fail because of the low wages they receive.”

Which is why we keep that glass ceiling there.

Here is a young woman. Her clothing is threadbare. She has had nothing to eat for twenty-four hours. She is without a dollar. She does not know where she is to get financial relief.

Must be a blogger

She has moral conviction and character.

Hmmm. Probably not, then

A man of millions offers her fifty thousand dollars for sexual favors.

Now you know where Bob gets his movie ideas.

Will she surrender her virtue? She will scream, scratch, struggle, dies before she will voluntarily surrender.

Here is a pure young man. He has moral convictions and character.

Well, we could certainly do with less of that.

An attractively dressed, fashionable demimondaine makes him a proposition for sexual intercourse.

I don't know about him, but I'm not sleeping with anything less than a full mondaine.

Will he surrender?

Is he French?

Not any more than the aforementioned young woman. If the young millionaire should court her, win her confidence and love, spoon with her, then she would be in great danger of falling.

Now that we've spooned, would you like to fork?

If the young man should follow the same course,

Spoon with a young millionaire?

he would probably fall.

Might as well take the 50K, then.

Not one young woman in fifty, who fall after they are sixteen, would have fallen if they had exacted the social laws of “hands off” and “unkissed lips.”

Just like Pretty Woman!

If young men were educated to keep themselves pure and to respect those same social laws, not one in fifty who fall would do so. Sexual excitement always precedes a voluntary fall.

Remember son, sexual excitement precedes a voluntary fall, but alcohol precedes sexual excitement.

The intelligent, thoughtful, kind, and affectionate husband indulges in kissing, embracing and caressing his wife before engaging in the sexual embrace. Not to do so would be legalized rape under the guise of marriage.

So, wearing only a loincloth, making chimp noises and leaping on her from the kitchen table when she first gets up in the morning is.........frowned upon?

True Knighthood

An informed and conscientious young man will treat every young woman as he would have other young men treat his sister and the girl he one day hopes to make his wife.

And if that woman is his sister?

He would not forgive a young man whom he knew to be guilty of spooning with his sister or with the girl to whom he is engaged to be married.

Especially if it's his sister.

Next: Social Privileges and Long Engagements


Postscript: First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself. Also, you're currently at the old site. Fresh Hraka is posted every day at our current location.

7/22/2002





2002 Vacation Beach Music.


I can't really name specific cds since everything I'm taking was downloaded then burned. I own cds by all the artists mentioned, bought used or on E-bay, because I don't want Hilary seeing a single cent of mine.

John Hiatt
Pizzicato Five
Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra
The Aquabats
Moby
Wailing Souls
Mohammed Rafi
and of course,
The Wiggles


Postscript: First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself. Also, you're currently at the old site. Fresh Hraka is posted every day at our current location.




Early adolescence is a horrible, horrible time. I don't know anyone who would want to go through it again. My grandmother thought so too, which is why she gave me a book to help me through that time. A book written in 1916 by Professor T.W. Shannon, A.M. I read every word, and it made me the man I am today. It's a godsend for impressionable young minds. Why, if any dream of mine could come true, it would be that families would gather together around the electronic fireplace that is Silflay Hraka, and read aloud the wisdom of The New Perfect Manhood.

Chapter VII of the The New Perfect Manhood.

Now with commentary!

Vital Facts for Married and Marriageable Men

Men's Social Nature

Man has a social nature. It should be normally developed. A well-developed social nature will greatly augment his happiness and success in life. Boys and girls, men and women supplement each other in their social development. Their social natures are best developed when they are wisely associated from youth to old age.


Here's what happens to you when you unwisely associate

Social and Sex Natures Inter-Related and Inter-Dependent

Charming and attractive social gifts are closely related to normal sexual development.


Remember kids, if you're not charming and attractive, you're a sexual freak!

Any interference with the developing sex nature will interfere with the development of the social side of life. The social life of a eunuch has been arrested. He does not attract the opposite sex, admires no woman as a sweetheart, has no interest in children akin to parental interest, and takes little social interest in other people. Self-abuse

He's talking about wanking here

often causes a young man to become extremely diffident and to shun the company of women.

Umm. Is he implying that flogging the flounder makes you gay? That would seem to disproved by the continuing existence of the species.

Any social relations between you men and women, tending toward sexual excitement, leading to sexual dissipation, as well at to social and moral danger.

Spooning

Spawning among fishes, rutting among the deer family, teasing among horses and spooning among young people are only different words for doing the same thing,


Ice-skating?

producing sexual excitement.

Oh.

Nature teaches the fishes, birds and animals when they should excite each other's passion, and why.

Because it's Saturday night, the baby's asleep, and you've got half a bottle of Riunite in the missus.

They are unerringly controlled and guided in this function by blind instinct.

And we all know why he's blind, don't we?

Nature does not teach unmarried people when they should not and why they should not excite each other's passions,

Nature says it's ok, people! Let's see some Discovery Channel out there right now!

as human beings are endowed with reason to guide them in such matters.

I have this special vacuum brain attachment that will increase my reason endowment the natural way.

Young people engage in hugging, kissing, pinching,

oral sex with strangers,

playing with the hair, holding hands, tapping the chin and tickling the neck,

Tapping the chin and tickling the neck? What kind of freaks did they grow back in 1916?

with a view to having what they call a good time.

Sluts.

Many of them are totally ignorant of the true reason for this and why they should not. If one steps over the verge of great precipices, his mangled, lifeless body will be picked up by his friends

or the guy who pushed him

from the jagged rocks beneath. He defied a physical law, the law of gravity, in its relation to his physical well-being. When young people, men or women or both, voluntarily forfeit their virtue, it is because they have violated a law of sex in its relation to virtuous manhood and womanhood.

The sex police, they live inside of your head
The sex police, they come to me in my bed.
The sex police, they're coming to arrest me, oh no.


Tomorrow, as we continue our excited excerpting from The New Perfect Manhood; Why do Young People Fail, and True Knighthood


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7/21/2002




I should be packing

Still obsessing over the Tour de France, however. Looks like Lance finished today's stage in third place, still retaining the overall lead. The main challenger, Beloki, lost more time. Happiness is getting Tour updates via the BBC. Okay. I'm leaving now. I really am.

Here's a little link love to another Tour fan: Susanna at Cut on the Bias.

Must.tear.self.away.from.blog...must.go.on...va.ca.tion! (Channelling Cartman: "Must.have.ap.pe.ti.zer!")


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I was talking to frank of boosman.com tonight at the blog meet-up about how hard it is to blog for the future. It's not like I've got anything to link to. I suppose I could just make up random urls and hope that something would be there when the time came. It's likely to be at least as informative as my normal blogging habits are. I thought I'd go a different route, try to channel a little Jeanne Dixon and make predictions about the world of next week. Of course, if I get anything right, all that proves is that I haven't successfully channelled Jeanne.

My predictions for the world of the future, specifically July 21st throught the 28th 2002.

1. The Dow will fall below 7500 on news of yet another corporate scandal. I had this originally at 8000, but that was before it closed at 8019 on Friday, and before I saw this graph at the Feces Flinging Monkey Sunday morning
2. The accountants for company involved in the scandal will not be Arthur Anderson, but PricewaterhouseCoopers.
3. A high ranking member of the Bush Administration will have held an executive position at that company.
4. Dick Gephardt will drool on camera while discussing the aforementioned scandal.
5. There will be a terrorist attack somewhere in Britain, and Nigerians who had entered the country on fake golf visas will be involved. (No, I'm not going to link to it. Anyone who hasn't read it by now can go look for it, and both my other readers are sick of hearing me rant about it.)
6. Eric A. Blair will finally reveal himself to be......Brendan O'Neill.


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Hi all. We're on vacation this week in crowded Long Beach, NC. so all posts this week from me are brought to you by the technical wizardy of Blogger Pro. And yes, I am well aware that "technical wizardy of Blogger" is an oxymoron on the level of "jumbo shrimp".

Anyway, without further ado...okay, maybe a little ado, here's my beach reading list for Summer 2002.

Dreams of Flesh and Sand, by Bill Quick, The Daily Pundit.
Dr. Atkins New Diet Revolution. Any book that tells me it's ok to eat meat all day long is going to get at least a glance. Thanks to the Oceanguy for posting about it
1066 and All That, by Sellar and Yeatman. I could have sworn I saw this first at Natalie Solents' site, but I don't see any mention about it now.
The Oxford Book of Political Anecdotes, edited by Paul Johnson. Sitting by the shelf beside 1066.

You'll get a lot of lists this week. I'll be back on 7/29, I swear.


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All the cool kids are doing it

We've put up a guest map, let us know where you're coming from! It's over there on the left. You'll need javascript enabled, and set your browser to allow pop ups. Also, it throws back an error if you don't fill out all the fields.


Postscript: First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself. Also, you're currently at the old site. Fresh Hraka is posted every day at our current location.

Postscript: First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself. Also, you're currently at the old site. Fresh Hraka is posted every day at our current location.




Ole Doc Weevil is wondering what to do with our bases in Saudi Arabia, seeing as how they're not much of an ally anymore. He's listed several options, none of which are really appealing. I've got one, but I don't know that we have the time for it.

Remove our troops. Tell Saddam that he can move on in. Let him. Wait a month or two, then go to war with Iraq. We get pretty much everything we wanted anyway, on about the same time schedule, and Saddam will have removed the biggest funder of radical Islam from the playing board. Note, this does depend rather a lot on Saddam, but all we'd have to do is lie convincingly to him, maybe tell him that we've decided that Islamofascism is a greater threat to us than he is, and what the region needs is a strong Caliph who can keep the peace.


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The Most Unique Eating Utensil Since the Dark Ages!

Plus, It looks like you can pick your nose and pop zits with it..

Link via TANSTAAFL


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Ones and Zeros has the best response to Brendan of any that I've read, and I've read quite a few. I'm a sucker for blogging metadata stories.

One could view the source of his blog and attempt to determine why there are 1725 break tags in his head section. Perhaps he hasn't read Thirty Days to a More Accessible Weblog.

I've seen hideous code in my life, but that is just crazy. I went and looked, and he's right, the damn things are everywhere. Tsk, tsk, Brendan. Sloppy code is sloppy thinking, and sloppy thinking means you're crowding my turf, as an astute reader will have already observed by now.

Update: The Rat's Nest killfiles Brendan's latest troll.


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There's a new meme making its way around the blogs. The Anglosphere. Did I read it all? No. It's late, I'm tired, and I go on vacation tomorrow, er, today. And I still have the rest of the friends list to go through. I'll read it when I get back.

Link via Glenn Frazier


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Yes, but what about Lord of the Rings? War Now takes a swipe at the Kiwis.


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